{"title":"Bob Coin","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the official unofficial home of BOB Coin, the entirely fictitious and completely real currency of the Bank of Bellends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBacked by nothing, driven by Tuesdays, and regulated by absolutely nobody, BOB Coin represents everything the market fears most: poor decisions, shed-based economics, unstable navigation, and cultural inevitability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis loot collection celebrates the finest financial instrument ever pegged to a broken leg. From Tuesday arrears to splint-based stability, every item is a tribute to the currency that has no value, immeasurable worth, and a worrying habit of surging whenever Bob makes a bad decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBOB Coin cannot be exchanged. It is freely tradable. It is worthless. It is priceless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePast performance does not predict future Tuesdays. Arrears may accumulate. Settlement may occur without warning.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"unisex-classic-tee-2","title":"Bob Coin Investors T-Shirt","description":"\u003ch3\u003eInvest Harder, Not Smarter.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people invest carefully.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people diversify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people research markets, understand risk, and make sensible long-term decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is not for those people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bob Coin Investor’s T-Shirt is for anyone brave enough to look at an entirely fictitious and completely real currency, backed by poor decisions, Tuesday arrears, shed-based economics, and the Bank of Bellends, and think:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInvest Harder, Not Smarter.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is not financial advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is a lifestyle choice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the Bob Coin design and the official investment philosophy of people who definitely should not be left alone with a ledger, this tee is perfect for Bob’s Bellends, shed economists, market optimists, confirmed Paid Actors, and anyone still waiting for their imaginary dividends to clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBOB Coin has no value and immeasurable worth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt cannot be exchanged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is freely tradable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is worthless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is priceless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll transactions are final.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing settles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eAvailable Colours\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnregulated Black\u003c\/strong\u003e - dark, official-looking, and almost certainly not approved by any recognised financial body.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTuesday Peg Heather\u003c\/strong\u003e - unstable, absolute, and emotionally tied to market conditions nobody understands.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 100% cotton unisex classic tee helps you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, wearable, and ideal for making bold investment statements without accidentally learning anything about finance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this shirt does not constitute financial advice, investment advice, legal advice, or evidence that BOB Coin has ever had a functioning market.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBOB Coin is permanently pegged to Tuesdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe peg is unstable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe peg is absolute.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for emotional investing, shouting “buy the dip” near breakfast, demanding payment in BOB Coin, or being appointed to the Bellend Oversight \u0026amp; Behaviour Board without warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAny resemblance between this shirt and a sound financial strategy is purely accidental and should be reported to the Deputy Undersecretary of Monetary Bankruptcy immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike BOB Coin, we try not to produce unlimited theoretical assets with no clear backing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and the kind of questionable supply decisions usually handled during Tuesday arrears meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has reviewed this process and confirmed it is probably less risky than the coin itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪙 Investor Grade Delusion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bank of Bellends Approved\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📉 Financially Unsafe Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏚 Shed Economist Certified\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📒 Nothing Settles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Investor’s T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause smart money asks questions, and Bob Coin investors simply invest harder.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ S","offer_id":58065184293199,"sku":"7172169_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ M","offer_id":58065184325967,"sku":"7172169_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ L","offer_id":58065184358735,"sku":"7172169_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ XL","offer_id":58065184391503,"sku":"7172169_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065184424271,"sku":"7172169_11550","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065184457039,"sku":"7172169_12644","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":58065184489807,"sku":"7172169_12645","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":58065184522575,"sku":"7172169_12646","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ S","offer_id":58065184555343,"sku":"7172169_15843","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ M","offer_id":58065184588111,"sku":"7172169_15844","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ L","offer_id":58065184620879,"sku":"7172169_15845","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ XL","offer_id":58065184653647,"sku":"7172169_15846","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065184686415,"sku":"7172169_15847","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065184719183,"sku":"7172169_15848","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-black-front-and-back-6a5d172bc23a7.jpg?v=1784485687"},{"product_id":"bob-coin-financial-prophecy-t-shirt-pink","title":"Bob Coin Financial Prophecy T-Shirt - Pink","description":"\u003ch3\u003eThe Future Is Unclear. 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Silver","description":"\u003ch3\u003eNow in Silver, Because Obviously Silver Is Best.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe future is unclear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe exchange rate is worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut the colour choice is correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis Bob Coin Financial Prophecy T-Shirt features the legendary Bob Coin in a special tarot card-style design on the back, now presented in glorious Silver, the most financially convincing colour available to anyone who does not understand markets but absolutely respects shiny things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGold may be traditional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack may be suspicious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut Silver feels official, mystical, and just believable enough to make the Bank of Bellends nervous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt first glance, the tarot card design may appear to suggest hidden meaning, ancient prophecy, or some deeper connection to the wider Bob’s Lore universe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis would be incorrect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen questioned about the tarot card’s significance, Chucka reportedly clarified:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“No, the tarot cards are just an old design I had and liked, so remade them because I like them.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd honestly, that is the most lore-accurate explanation possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo prophecy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo hidden ritual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo carefully planned mythology.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust a design that looked good, became Silver, and is now clearly the premium financial timeline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing Bob Coin in full mystical investment nonsense mode, this shirt is perfect for Bank of Bellends loyalists, shed economists, suspicious investors, and anyone who believes Silver is not just a colour, but a strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin remains entirely fictitious and completely real.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt cannot be exchanged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is freely tradable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is worthless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is priceless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll transactions are final.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing settles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eAvailable Colour\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFinancial Prophecy Silver\u003c\/strong\u003e - shiny, confident, and clearly the superior asset class.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt does not predict the future.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not explain Bob Coin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not make the tarot card significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve market performance, prevent Tuesday crashes, summon dividends, or grant access to hidden Bank of Bellends meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSilver may appear financially superior because it is. No further questions will be taken at this time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAny perceived symbolism is accidental, retroactively approved, and probably your fault for looking too closely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has reviewed the Silver edition and confirmed it looks more valuable, which is legally the same as being more valuable in Bob Coin terms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪙 Bob Coin Asset\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔮 Accidental Tarot Energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥈 Superior Silver Standard\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bank of Bellends Adjacent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📉 Financially Mystical\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📜 Meaning Denied by Chucka\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Financial Prophecy T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes the prophecy is not deep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is just Silver, and Silver is obviously best.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs 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Coin Investors Mug","description":"\u003ch3\u003eInvest Harder, Not Smarter.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome investors read charts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome investors study markets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin investors simply grip a mug, stare into the middle distance, and trust the Bank of Bellends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bob Coin Investor’s Mug is the official drinking vessel for anyone financially brave enough to believe in a currency backed by poor decisions, Tuesday arrears, shed-based economics, and absolutely no meaningful regulation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the iconic Bob Coin design and the powerful investment philosophy:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInvest Harder, Not Smarter.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug is perfect for morning coffee, evening tea, mid-raid hydration, or whatever suspicious liquid helps you ignore market volatility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is sturdy, glossy, and printed with the kind of confidence usually found just before everything crashes in an open field.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCeramic mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy white finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid Bob Coin print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in 11 oz, 15 oz, and 20 oz sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e11 oz mug: 3.8\" \/ 9.6 cm in height, 3.2\" \/ 8.2 cm in diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15 oz mug: 4.7\" \/ 11.9 cm in height, 3.3\" \/ 8.5 cm in diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e20 oz mug: 4.3\" \/ 10.9 cm in height, 3.7\" \/ 9.3 cm in diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrinking from this mug does not constitute financial advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt will not increase the value of Bob Coin, prevent Tuesday market crashes, guarantee imaginary returns, or make the whitepaper longer than “Trust me.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for sudden investment confidence, emotional trading, shouting “buy the dip” at breakfast, or explaining to guests why your mug appears to endorse a coin that may or may not exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank product sourced from China.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has reviewed this mug and confirmed that holding it with both hands makes you look at least 12% more financially convincing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob 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Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075106214223,"sku":"7998813_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075106246991,"sku":"7998813_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075106279759,"sku":"7998813_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a4143cd932b0.jpg?v=1782662142"},{"product_id":"bob-coin-is-a-scam","title":"Bob Coin Is A Scam Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eBob Coin Is a Scam T-Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eAnti-Bob Coin Propaganda. 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Instead of defending the coin, protecting the market, or respecting the delicate financial ecosystem of Bob’s Lore, it makes one outrageous claim:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Is a Scam.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA shocking statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA dangerous statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA statement the Bank of Bellends absolutely does not endorse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, why would you purchase a T-shirt with such lies printed on it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat sort of person walks around publicly questioning Bob Coin?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA sceptic?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA whistleblower?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA short seller?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomeone who has read the whitepaper and realised it only says “Trust me”?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever your reasons, this shirt exists for the doubters, the market heretics, the financially suspicious, and anyone brave enough to stand in a field and say what everyone else is definitely not thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not a scam.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut this shirt says it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd that is legally, spiritually, and financially upsetting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 100% cotton unisex classic tee helps you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, keeps sharp lines around the edges, and works well with layered streetwear outfits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, bold, and ideal for anyone who enjoys making dangerous financial accusations with no supporting documentation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this shirt does not prove Bob Coin is a scam, mostly because Bob Coin is absolutely not a scam and the Bank of Bellends would like that recorded clearly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for angry investors, awkward questions, sudden audits, market instability, Tuesday retaliation, or Bob Coin holders pointing at your chest and shouting “lies” in public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePurchasing this shirt may result in reduced access to imaginary dividends, shed-based financial advice, and all future Bank of Bellends loyalty schemes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has reviewed this design and described it as hurtful, inaccurate, and annoyingly wearable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob, we try not to wander into a field without a plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and the kind of poor logistical decisions usually reserved for Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪙 Financial Slander Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bank of Bellends Disapproved\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📉 Market Heresy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏚 Shed Economist Warning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Is a Scam T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently some people enjoy buying shirts covered in dangerous misinformation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":58075210711375,"sku":"6351807_11546","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":58075210744143,"sku":"6351807_11547","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":58075210776911,"sku":"6351807_11548","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":58075210809679,"sku":"6351807_11549","price":1301.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":58075210842447,"sku":"6351807_11550","price":17.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":58075210875215,"sku":"6351807_12644","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":58075210907983,"sku":"6351807_12645","price":22.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":58075210940751,"sku":"6351807_12646","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-black-front-6a5d183046c3a.jpg?v=1784485944"},{"product_id":"not-a-scam","title":"Bob Coin is Not a Scam Tee","description":"\u003ch3\u003eMinimal Design. 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