{"title":"Memorabilia","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome moments deserve to be remembered. Others somehow become merchandise. Explore mugs, posters and Bob Coin keepsakes inspired by stream quotes, Tuesday traditions and the wider Bob verse. A little something for your desk, your wall, or your growing collection of questionable decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"chucka-logo","title":"Chuka Certified Ceramic Mug","description":"\u003ch3\u003eOfficial Drinkware. Unofficial Authority.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs hold coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs hold tea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one holds quiet confidence, questionable context, and the Chuka logo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eChuka Certified Ceramic Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e is a clean white ceramic mug featuring the Chuka logo, perfect for morning coffee, evening tea, stream watching, shed-based planning, or staring into the distance while pretending everything makes sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is sturdy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is glossy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is suspiciously official looking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis does not mean it grants authority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt simply looks like it might.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you are fuelling up before a poor decision, recovering from a Tuesday, or preparing to explain lore to someone who absolutely did not ask, this mug provides a reliable drinking vessel for all levels of Bellend activity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eAvailable Colour\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOfficially Unexplained White\u003c\/strong\u003e - clean, glossy, and clearly hiding something.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic white ceramic mug with Chuka logo branding\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in 11 oz, 15 oz, and 20 oz sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for coffee, tea, hot chocolate, or whatever keeps the lore moving\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreat for stream desks, work desks, gaming setups, and suspicious kitchen cupboards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal for Bob’s Bellends, Chuka loyalists, and anyone who likes their drinkware slightly overqualified\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not confirm Chuka certification.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not explain the logo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve navigation, reduce Tuesday arrears, increase Bob Coin value, or make you better at financial prophecy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAny sense of authority created by drinking from this mug is unofficial, unregulated, and probably caused by caffeine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone asks what the Chuka logo means, take a sip and look thoughtful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is usually enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you when you place an order, which helps avoid unnecessary waste and overproduction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis also gives the mug time to decide whether it recognises your authority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt probably does not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Chuka Branded Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Approved\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🤍 Officially Unexplained White\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛖 Shed Compatible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧭 Navigation Neutral\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📜 Authority Implied, Not Confirmed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📏 Available in Three Levels of Overcommitment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChuka Certified Ceramic Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause every questionable organisation needs a mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEspecially the ones nobody can explain.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58074761920847,"sku":"9488722_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58074761953615,"sku":"9488722_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58074761986383,"sku":"9488722_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a41385098bcb.jpg?v=1782659181"},{"product_id":"early-bird","title":"Early Bird Gets The Worm Emoji Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStream Quote. Morning Brew. Worm-Based Motivation.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs help you start the day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one reminds you that the early bird gets the \u003cstrong\u003eWorm Emoji\u003c\/strong\u003e, which is either motivational, threatening, or deeply concerning depending on how much Bob lore you understand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e takes a classic saying and drags it directly through chat, text-to-speech damage, Friday freshie panic, and Worm Rave Roulette.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is perfect for morning coffee, evening tea, or the kind of drink you make while wondering why a worm-based stream quote now exists on ceramic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable only in \u003cstrong\u003eSuspiciously Clean White\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSuspiciously Clean White\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those who like their mugs bright, glossy, and completely unprepared for the cultural weight of the worm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you are awake early, the worm may already be watching.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Early Bird Gets The Worm Emoji Mug is a sturdy, glossy white ceramic mug featuring one of Bob’s worm-adjacent stream quotes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is ideal for coffee, tea, hot chocolate, emotional support drinks, and any beverage consumed while chat chants something it should probably stop chanting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you are starting the day, ending the day, or recovering from Worm Rave Roulette, this mug is here to hold liquid and questionable meaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable only in \u003cstrong\u003eSuspiciously Clean White\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not contain worms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not summon worms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not improve your odds during Worm Rave Roulette.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not guarantee that waking up early will help Bob find a knife, locate a worm, or survive longer than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji\u003c\/strong\u003e is not nutritional advice, survival guidance, farming instruction, or a legally recognised breakfast plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for excessive coffee consumption, worm chanting, confused guests, or anyone asking why your mug sounds like chat got involved in a proverb.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to dig for worms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not place actual worms inside the mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not ask text-to-speech to read the mug out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike chat, we try not to produce unlimited worm-related objects without warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and unnecessary piles of mugs staring at us with worm-based intent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the worm got there first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪱 Worm Emoji Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Stream Quote Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐦 Early Bird Propaganda\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎰 Worm Rave Roulette Adjacent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Cultural Incident Ware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause some mornings need coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd some mornings need coffee with worm-based consequences.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58074775191887,"sku":"8406546_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58074775224655,"sku":"8406546_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58074775257423,"sku":"8406546_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a4138d9b3c0b.jpg?v=1782659331"},{"product_id":"no-one-told-me-about-the-fucking-bears-mug","title":"No One Told Me About the Fucking Bears Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial drinkware for anyone who entered Vikendi under-informed, under-vehicled, and spiritually unprepared.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs celebrate victory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one commemorates a very specific failure to achieve chicken dinner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eNo One Told Me About the Fucking Bears Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e honours the now infamous PUBG expedition where Bob, armed with an SKS, a holo sight, no vehicle, and absolutely no meaningful bear policy, wandered slightly too close to where the bears live.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not DayZ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not Chernarus.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not even a sensible rotation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut Bob’s Lore followed him through the loading screen anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on a sturdy white ceramic mug, this phrase captures the exact moment battle royale confidence met local Vikendi wildlife and lost badly. Perfect for coffee, tea, survival juice, or whatever you drink while pretending the bear situation was someone else’s fault.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial LHS sizing note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bigger mugs do not improve bear awareness, vehicle availability, or chicken dinner probability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Bob entering bear country, this decision is considered sensible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFinal Archive Note\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Vikendi Bear Incident proves that Bob’s Lore is not attached to a map, server, genre, or game engine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is attached to Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can remove Bob from DayZ. You can put him in PUBG. You can drop him from a plane, give him snow, loot, a shrinking circle, and the promise of chicken.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut if there is wildlife nearby, no vehicle available, and nobody has explained the danger properly, the outcome remains inevitable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Bears not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo one told him about the fucking bears.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob went hungry. No chicken dinner.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐻 Vikendi Bear Incident Approved Equipment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Cross-Game Survival Beverage Holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🍗 No Chicken Dinner Commemorative Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔵 Blue Zone Emotional Support Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧭 Directionally Optimistic PUBG Rotation Cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 SKS With Holo Sight Coping Accessory\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🚗 No Vehicle Found Field Hydration Unit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Wildlife Awareness Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075074560335,"sku":"6125272_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075074593103,"sku":"6125272_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075074625871,"sku":"6125272_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a41430e0845f.jpg?v=1782661951"},{"product_id":"cocks","title":"Beating Cocks \u0026 Missing Shots Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhite Mug. Beat-Up Cockerel. Aim Still Under Review.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs are made for peaceful mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not one of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e exists to honour one of Bob’s finest accidental field reports, delivered when someone made the mistake of asking what he was up to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob’s reply was simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Beating cocks and missing shots.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo further explanation was needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, Bob’s Lore does not work like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis white ceramic mug features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character alongside the now historically concerning phrase, capturing Bob in one of his purest survival states.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArmed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHungry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDistracted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSurrounded by better options.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd still choosing to settle poultry disputes with his bare hands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost survivors, when faced with a chicken, might use a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr an axe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr a gun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr basic sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob appears to consider all of these valid suggestions before ignoring them entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel, meanwhile, has clearly been through something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have survived the first punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have witnessed several missed shots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may now be part of the official cock count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has opened a file and immediately regretted it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug is for anyone who understands that Bob missing a shot is not always failure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is warning fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is ballistic optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is advanced intimidation of nearby scenery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sometimes the chicken was never in danger from the bullet, only from what Bob decided to do next.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in one clean and deeply suspicious colour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot White\u003c\/strong\u003e is for Bellends who want their drinkware bright, their poultry battered, and their combat reports badly phrased.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf the chicken is still standing, the lore is not finished.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character with the text \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e, inspired by Bob’s ongoing reputation for missed shots, questionable survival choices, and bare-fisted chicken management.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sturdy white ceramic mug is built for coffee, tea, hot chocolate, emergency stream debriefs, poultry incident reviews, and quietly wondering why nobody used a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt has a glossy finish with a vivid print designed to withstand both the microwave and dishwasher, which is more than can be said for Bob’s aim, judgement, or the emotional state of the cockerel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, practical, and clean, according to the blank mug description, which has not yet been briefed on cock counts, missed rounds, or why Bob is chasing breakfast around a village.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot White\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign featuring a cartoon beat-up cockerel character\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes the text \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInspired by Bob’s bare-fisted chicken management lore\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite ceramic mug with glossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid print designed for everyday use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for Bob’s Bellends, poultry historians, missed shot analysts, and anyone who has ever asked what Bob is doing and immediately regretted it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMaterials\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCeramic, because even a battered cockerel deserves to be remembered on something sturdy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy finish, suitable for coffee, tea, and post-incident poultry reflection.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid print, strong enough to survive the dishwasher and several questionable explanations.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe, unlike the tactical thinking behind punching a chicken instead of using a knife.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from China.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.8″ in height, 3.2″ in diameter. Suitable for a normal coffee before the first shot misses.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.7″ in height, 3.3″ in diameter. Recommended for longer cock counts, confused chat questions, and waiting for Bob to reload emotionally.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.3″ in height, 3.7″ in diameter. Best for full Bellend-level debriefs, repeated poultry incidents, and accepting that the chicken may have won round one.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve aim.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not guarantee successful chicken preparation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not confirm that fists are an approved poultry harvesting tool.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e is not a tactical doctrine, hunting guide, food safety recommendation, combat manual, or legal defence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include ammunition, a knife, an axe, emergency feathers, spare dignity, poultry counselling, recoil control, or an explanation that will make the quote sound normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for missed shots, escaped chickens, damaged pride, confused viewers, bad phrasing, David laughing, Bob being certain, or chat immediately demanding a cock count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to hit chickens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to improve accuracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not ask the cockerel what happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel has seen enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob’s shots, we prefer things to be aimed at the correct destination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of mugs quietly wondering why Bob did not just use the knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the chicken told you to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐓 Bob Poultry Incident Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 Missed Shot Ceramic Evidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥊 Bare-Fisted Chicken Management Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📊 Official Cock Count Support Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Breakfast Combat Ware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause Bob does not simply miss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe creates warning fire for a chicken he then punches anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075088978255,"sku":"3525417_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075089011023,"sku":"3525417_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075089043791,"sku":"3525417_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a414385a2f8f.jpg?v=1782662054"},{"product_id":"bob-coin","title":"Bob Coin Investors Mug","description":"\u003ch3\u003eInvest Harder, Not Smarter.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome investors read charts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome investors study markets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin investors simply grip a mug, stare into the middle distance, and trust the Bank of Bellends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bob Coin Investor’s Mug is the official drinking vessel for anyone financially brave enough to believe in a currency backed by poor decisions, Tuesday arrears, shed-based economics, and absolutely no meaningful regulation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the iconic Bob Coin design and the powerful investment philosophy:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInvest Harder, Not Smarter.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug is perfect for morning coffee, evening tea, mid-raid hydration, or whatever suspicious liquid helps you ignore market volatility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is sturdy, glossy, and printed with the kind of confidence usually found just before everything crashes in an open field.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCeramic mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy white finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid Bob Coin print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in 11 oz, 15 oz, and 20 oz sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e11 oz mug: 3.8\" \/ 9.6 cm in height, 3.2\" \/ 8.2 cm in diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15 oz mug: 4.7\" \/ 11.9 cm in height, 3.3\" \/ 8.5 cm in diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e20 oz mug: 4.3\" \/ 10.9 cm in height, 3.7\" \/ 9.3 cm in diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrinking from this mug does not constitute financial advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt will not increase the value of Bob Coin, prevent Tuesday market crashes, guarantee imaginary returns, or make the whitepaper longer than “Trust me.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for sudden investment confidence, emotional trading, shouting “buy the dip” at breakfast, or explaining to guests why your mug appears to endorse a coin that may or may not exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank product sourced from China.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has reviewed this mug and confirmed that holding it with both hands makes you look at least 12% more financially convincing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob Coin, we prefer not to overproduce unstable assets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and the kind of questionable supply-chain decisions usually discussed during Tuesday arrears meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪙 Bob Coin Investor Grade\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bank of Bellends Approved\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Caffeinated Market Confidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📉 Dishwasher Safe, Financially Unsafe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Investor’s Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause smart money drinks coffee before making bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075106214223,"sku":"7998813_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075106246991,"sku":"7998813_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075106279759,"sku":"7998813_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a4143cd932b0.jpg?v=1782662142"},{"product_id":"white-glossy-mug","title":"LTA Private Island Compliance Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrivate Island Living. CCC Approved Never. Pig Concern Rising.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Travel Agency would like to make it clear that private island living was going extremely well until someone started reading the notice on the door.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore that, the island had everything a modern survivor could want.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWalls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eConfidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA door with paperwork on it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome roots doing the work of foundations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA roof situation best described as spiritually pending.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd one pig who had already realised this was going to end badly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency Private Island Compliance Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e celebrates the proud LTA attempt to revitalise private island living by building a base, attracting visitors, failing socially, hiding the consequences, and then inviting Cal’s Cool Construction Company over for an official inspection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis was, according to all available evidence, a mistake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal arrived with questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal found weeds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal found roots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal found barbed wire placement choices that suggested the builders had confused safety standards with emotional damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe residents insisted everything was fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe pig did not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the text \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eMaking Private Islands Great Again\u003c\/strong\u003e, this mug captures the exact moment tropical ambition becomes a formal investigation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is not just a mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a ceramic record of island-based denial.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA tribute to roofless confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA warning to future inspectors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd possibly the only witness the pig is willing to stand beside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe LTA position remains unchanged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe island was safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe foundations were natural.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe visitors left.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe sniper was not part of the package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd if several people ended the day with broken legs inside a damaged, non-compliant structure, that is not failure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is private island living with added lore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in one officially suspicious ceramic colour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrivate Island White\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who believes a worried pig, a tropical island, and a mug full of coffee are enough to survive an inspection by Cal’s Cool Construction Company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf the pig looks worried, the base is already condemned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Travel Agency Private Island Compliance Mug features a tropical island design with a worried-looking pig, the text \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the slogan \u003cstrong\u003eMaking Private Islands Great Again\u003c\/strong\u003e, inspired by the LTA’s highly questionable approach to travel, tourism, construction, and crisis management.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sturdy ceramic mug is built for coffee, tea, emergency planning, post-inspection debriefs, and pretending the base is structurally sound while someone checks for splints.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt has a glossy finish with a vivid print designed to withstand both the microwave and dishwasher, which is more than can be said for most private island building standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, clean, and practical, according to the blank mug description, which has not yet been briefed on natural foundations, barbed wire placement, or why there are two fewer visitors than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003ePrivate Island White\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.8″ in height, 3.2″ in diameter. Suitable for a calm drink before the notice appears.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.7″ in height, 3.3″ in diameter. Recommended for active inspections, awkward questions, and pretending the roof is optional.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.3″ in height, 3.7″ in diameter. Best for full island crisis management, body hiding, splint searching, and pig reassurance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not guarantee private island approval.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve building safety standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not confirm the foundations are suitable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not mean Cal will pass the inspection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe roof may still be missing for cultural reasons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eMaking Private Islands Great Again\u003c\/strong\u003e is not a legally binding construction promise, safety certification, planning approval, inspection defence, or refund policy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include building permits, roofing materials, barbed wire guidance, natural foundation approval, spare splints, emergency rags, legal representation, pig counselling, or protection from unseen snipers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for failed inspections, suspicious visitors, damaged bases, minor skirmishes, tropical panic, David getting shot, Bob being certain, or anyone loudly insisting the island is still perfectly fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug as structural support.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not present this mug as evidence of compliance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not ask the pig what happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe LTA has already denied responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike the LTA, we try not to send things out without checking where they are supposed to be going.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of mugs quietly insisting they were meant to be on a different island.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the pig told you to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏝️ LTA Private Island Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐖 Worried Pig Incident Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛠️ Construction Compliance Avoidance Ceramic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧭 Directionally Interpretive Tourism Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Island Inspection Wear, But For Coffee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency Private Island Compliance Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause the LTA does not fail inspections.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt simply discovers new standards with confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075111424335,"sku":"9058684_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075111457103,"sku":"9058684_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075111489871,"sku":"9058684_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a414412041c2.jpg?v=1782662197"},{"product_id":"zombie-overwatch-1","title":"Zombie Overwatch Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor those who help by watching very carefully.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people fight zombies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people clear buildings, swing melee weapons, bleed repeatedly, and discover exactly how many infected were hiding behind the shed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob provides overwatch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eZombie Overwatch Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e celebrates one of Bob’s most important operational roles: sitting slightly back, holding a drink, watching another player do the difficult bit, and occasionally offering helpful tactical advice such as “careful” after the danger has already become obvious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not avoidance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not laziness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is tactical delegation, probably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for coffee, tea, suspicious field beverages, or whatever you drink while deciding whether that direction feels like Nadbor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz - Light Overwatch:\u003c\/strong\u003e For minor zombie incidents, brief tactical watching, and one sensible cup of tea.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz - Standard Tactical Delegation:\u003c\/strong\u003e The recommended field size for proper supervision while someone else does the dangerous bit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz - Full Bellend Field Command:\u003c\/strong\u003e For extended Zombie Overwatch, chat management, and long periods of thinking about which direction Nadbor feels like.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eOfficial Mug Dimensions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz mug:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.8″ tall, 3.2″ diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz mug:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.7″ tall, 3.3″ diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz mug:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.3″ tall, 3.7″ diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal for observing problems from a safe distance\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUseful during chat interaction, zombie management, and suspicious village activity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with tactical silence and questionable contribution levels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExcellent for anyone who has ever said “I was watching your back” with confidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay improve morale while someone else deals with the infected\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not kill zombies, clear towns, provide actual overwatch, or prove that you helped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHolding this mug while another player is fighting infected may still count as emotional support, depending on who writes the field report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAny claims of active participation should be treated as unverified until reviewed by the LHS.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, prevents unnecessary mug stockpiles, and avoids creating another shed full of items nobody can explain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision, or at least a very lore-accurate one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🧟 Zombie Overwatch Approved Equipment\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e☕ Passive Support Beverage Holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e👀 Tactical Watching Accessory\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Field Supervision Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🧭 Nadbor Directional Thinking Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🛡️ “I Was Watching Your Back” Certified\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075123253583,"sku":"2257288_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075123286351,"sku":"2257288_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075123319119,"sku":"2257288_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a41447a96330.jpg?v=1782662302"},{"product_id":"tuesday","title":"Break Your Friend’s Leg Tuesday Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhite Ceramic Mug. Trusted Companion Warning. Splint Not Included.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs are for coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs are for tea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one is for quietly acknowledging that Tuesday has entered the room and somebody's leg may already be in administrative danger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eTuesday Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e is a white ceramic mug featuring one of the most medically inconvenient definitions in Bob's Lore:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Tuesday: A sudden and unexpected injury to a trusted companion's leg.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSimple, clean, and deeply suspicious, this mug is perfect for anyone who understands that calm situations should never be trusted, especially if it happens to be Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt works just as well for morning coffee as it does for evening tea, post-stream recovery drinks, emergency hot chocolate, or sitting at your desk while trying to explain why the words \u003cstrong\u003e\"it's just tradition\"\u003c\/strong\u003e are not legally helpful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe white ceramic finish keeps the design clear and readable, while the glossy print gives it the correct level of official-looking nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in multiple sizes, depending on the severity of your Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChoose \u003cstrong\u003e11 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e for a minor observance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChoose \u003cstrong\u003e15 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e for a standard cultural incident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChoose \u003cstrong\u003e20 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e for a full Broken Leg Brigade meeting, delayed consequences, or anyone still pretending advance warning was provided.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is sturdy, glossy, dishwasher safe, microwave safe, and more reliable than most field-based medical explanations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf it is Tuesday, it is already too late.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between, this mug is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is made from ceramic with a glossy finish and a vivid print designed to withstand both the microwave and dishwasher.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, practical, and ideal for Bellends who enjoy hot drinks, questionable traditions, and products that raise more questions than they answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003e11 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003e15 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e, and \u003cstrong\u003e20 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ \/ 9.6 cm high, 3.2″ \/ 8.2 cm diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ \/ 11.9 cm high, 3.3″ \/ 8.5 cm diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e20 oz mug dimensions: 4.3″ \/ 10.9 cm high, 3.7″ \/ 9.3 cm diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not cause Tuesdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt simply provides a suitable drinkware option for when Tuesday inevitably explains itself through poor timing and leg-based consequences.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include splints, painkillers, crutches, medical insurance, apology forms, witness statements, or membership of the Broken Leg Brigade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for sudden crawling, delayed laughter, trusted companion injuries, missing warnings, calendar-based confusion, or anyone insisting that it was just tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug as a splint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not cut this mug up to make a splint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not attempt to invalidate Tuesday by reading the product description in advance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAdvance knowledge may not protect you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTuesday has poor record keeping, but excellent follow-up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Tuesday, we do try to give people some warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and the kind of poor logistical decisions normally found in fields, sheds, and emergency medical situations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the calendar made you do it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📅 Tuesday Observance Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🦵 Trusted Companion Warning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ White Ceramic Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩹 Splint Not Included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Approved Cultural Incident\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTuesday Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause some traditions are best served hot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd without warning.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075144126799,"sku":"2273711_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075144159567,"sku":"2273711_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075144192335,"sku":"2273711_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a4144fcd1039.jpg?v=1782662433"},{"product_id":"official-bob-coin","title":"Official Bob Coin ( Limited Edition )","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBank of Bellends Approved. Financially Worthless, Spiritually Dangerous.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome coins are backed by gold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome coins are backed by governments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome coins are backed by sensible economic policy, audited reserves, and the general idea that money should probably mean something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not one of those coins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003ePhysical Bob Coin\u003c\/strong\u003e is a real, solid stainless steel challenge coin made for the Bank of Bellends, a financial institution with no confirmed regulator, no stable exchange rate, and a disturbing amount of confidence for something that can be found near sheds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt last, Bob Coin has escaped theory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is no longer just a suspicious idea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is no longer just a phrase whispered by Bellends with poor investment instincts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is now a real physical object you can hold, admire, misplace, overvalue, and use to explain why your financial decisions have become part of the lore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne side features the official \u003cstrong\u003eBank of Bellends\u003c\/strong\u003e design, complete with the central bell, the proud \u003cstrong\u003eBOB COIN\u003c\/strong\u003e name, and the sacred institutional statements:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIn Sheds We Trust\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBreaks On Tuesdays\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the face of Bob Coin as a financial product.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSerious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOfficial-looking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDeeply unregulated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe reverse side carries the \u003cstrong\u003eTuesday Reserve\u003c\/strong\u003e design, featuring the bundled splint icon and the warning:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePay Your Arrears\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a threat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a reminder from the calendar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you have missed a Tuesday, avoided a Tuesday, stolen a Tuesday, exported a Tuesday badly, or generally behaved like someone who thinks the ledger does not know where you live, the Tuesday Reserve has noticed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe coin is struck from solid \u003cstrong\u003e304 stainless steel\u003c\/strong\u003e, giving it proper weight, shine, and durability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt feels official in the hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is the dangerous part.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause while the coin itself is real, the value remains disputed, unstable, and largely dependent on how many Bellends are currently shouting about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not legal tender.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not cryptocurrency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not a pension plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not accepted by normal shops, responsible adults, financial advisers, or anyone who has ever looked at Tuesday paperwork and survived.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut as a piece of Bob’s Lore, it is priceless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr worthless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePossibly both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends refuses to clarify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis physical coin is perfect for collectors, Bellends, lore historians, stream regulars, shed economists, Tuesday debtors, and anyone who wants to own something that looks like currency but behaves more like a warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in one highly suspicious metallic finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStainless Bellend Silver\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who believes a solid steel coin, a bell, and several bad decisions are enough to establish a financial system.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you can hear the bell, your arrears are already overdue.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003ePhysical Bob Coin\u003c\/strong\u003e is a real stainless steel challenge coin inspired by the Bank of Bellends, Bob Coin lore, Tuesday arrears, and the wider financial instability caused by Bellends being allowed near symbolism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe front design features the \u003cstrong\u003eBank of Bellends\u003c\/strong\u003e crest, a central bell, the text \u003cstrong\u003eBOB COIN\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the phrases \u003cstrong\u003eIn Sheds We Trust\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eBreaks On Tuesdays\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe reverse design features the \u003cstrong\u003eTuesday Reserve\u003c\/strong\u003e, a central splint bundle, surrounding icon details, and the phrase \u003cstrong\u003ePay Your Arrears\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade from solid 304 CNC machined stainless steel, this coin has a smooth surface, straight line curling edges, and a proper physical weight that makes it feel far more official than it has any right to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is designed as a collectible challenge coin, display piece, Bellend artefact, ceremonial debt reminder, and deeply questionable financial prop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eStainless Bellend Silver\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not legal tender.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not cryptocurrency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not financial advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not backed by gold, silver, banks, governments, pigs, sheds, David’s driving record, or common sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends is not a real regulated financial institution.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Tuesday Reserve does not provide refunds, mercy, calendar protection, or arrears forgiveness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eIn Sheds We Trust\u003c\/strong\u003e is not an investment strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eBreaks On Tuesdays\u003c\/strong\u003e should be considered both a warning and a pattern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003ePay Your Arrears\u003c\/strong\u003e does not confirm the existence of an official payment portal, debt recovery system, or customer service department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include splints, financial stability, investment growth, shed access, Tuesday immunity, Bellend legal support, regulatory oversight, or a reliable explanation of value.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for sudden confidence, poor decisions, imaginary portfolios, calendar anxiety, shed-based speculation, David asking questions, Bob being certain, or chat declaring the market has moved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this coin as actual currency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not attempt to pay rent, taxes, fuel, food, fines, bail, or Tuesday arrears with this coin unless the recipient is already part of the problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not throw the coin at chickens, pigs, zombies, raiders, friends, auditors, or anyone asking sensible questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not place the coin near a financial adviser unless you are ready to explain the bell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has already denied responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob Coin’s market value, physical stock still has to exist somewhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of coins quietly demanding arrears from people who only came here for a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the Bank of Bellends told you it would moon by Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪙 Physical Bob Coin Artefact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bank of Bellends Challenge Coin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏚️ In Sheds We Trust Financial Object\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🦴 Tuesday Reserve Arrears Token\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📉 Unregulated Bellend Investment Evidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePhysical Bob Coin\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause Bob Coin is not a scam.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnless it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEither way, this one is real.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bank Of Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":58282758570319,"sku":null,"price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/IMG_9408.jpg?v=1784802208"},{"product_id":"official-tuesday-certificate","title":"Official Tuesday Certificate - Poster","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eQualified in Tradition. Unqualified in Orthopaedics.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe official wall-mounted qualification of the Livonia Historical Society, for anyone who feels their home, office or gaming room is currently suffering from an unacceptable lack of Tuesday-related paperwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFounded by Dug \u0026amp; Rooter, Tuesday began as a simple act of friendship, poor judgement and unexpected leg failure before developing into a fully documented cultural institution involving rules, splints, disputed interpretations and significantly more administration than the situation required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis museum-quality poster officially recognises the bearer as a \u003cstrong\u003eCertified Practitioner of Tuesday, C.P.T.\u003c\/strong\u003e, a title carrying absolutely no recognised medical, academic or professional authority, but considerable importance among people who understand that Tuesday is not merely a day of the week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSupplied unframed, allowing you complete freedom to display your qualification using a frame, poster hanger or whatever mounting system has survived the latest Tuesday incident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on thick matte museum-quality paper, giving your entirely unnecessary Tuesday qualification the suitably serious appearance of something that probably required several years of study rather than a questionable understanding of friendship.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFrame not included. Apparently the LHS budget did not stretch that far.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOwnership does not provide immunity from Tuesday.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCertified Practitioner of Tuesday does not constitute recognised medical, academic or professional accreditation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe poster itself is not suitable for use as a splint.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIf damaged during an actual Tuesday, the LHS may classify this as supporting historical evidence rather than a manufacturing fault.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFiled under:\u003c\/strong\u003e Livonia Historical Society certification, Tuesday administration, museum-quality cultural nonsense, and qualifications that should absolutely be displayed more prominently than your real ones.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":58873600508239,"sku":"3279082_48505","price":11.25,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-8.27x11.69-front-6ab502efa0e20.jpg?v=1790247671"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/collections\/ChatGPT_Image_Nov_3_2026_12_40_24_PM_2637c34d-762f-429c-a8d0-cdfd3a1a6027.png?v=1793713496","url":"https:\/\/onlybobs.shop\/collections\/memorabilia.oembed","provider":"Bobs Merch Store ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}