{"title":"Pumpkin Jousting","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSeasonal combat. Agricultural honour. Deeply questionable sport. Explore Pumpkin Jousting merch celebrating a tradition with considerably more enthusiasm than sporting legitimacy. Pick your colours, represent the pumpkin, and leave your dignity at the edge of the field.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"unisex-classic-tee-3","title":"Pumpkin Jousting Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeasonal Combat. Agricultural Honour. Deeply Questionable Sport.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome T-shirts are inspired by athletic achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one is inspired by the moment someone looked at a pumpkin and thought:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThat could be part of a fight.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Pumpkin Jousting T-Shirt celebrates one of the more refined traditions to emerge from the wider Bobes Lore field research programme: a ceremonial sport involving pumpkins, sticks, witnesses, poor balance, and the sort of confidence usually seen shortly before someone needs a splint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo outsiders, Pumpkin Jousting may appear to be people messing about with seasonal vegetables.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is incorrect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a historic cultural practice, recognised by the LHS, performed in a properly questionable arena, and governed by rules that are definitely written down somewhere, probably on a damp note near Myshkino.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe contest is simple. Two battlers enter. Pumpkins are respected. Sticks are raised. Dignity leaves immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eVictory may be awarded through balance, bravery, intimidation, confusion, or the opponent falling over in a way that feels historically significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn many ways, Pumpkin Jousting is Tuesday-adjacent. Not officially Tuesday. Not legally Tuesday. But absolutely close enough that the calendar should be informed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for Bellends who understand that some traditions are not invented.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey are discovered by accident, immediately escalated, and then defended as ancient law.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex T-shirt with a structured streetwear-style fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSits nicely and keeps sharp lines around the edges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreat for layering, loitering, spectating, or explaining why there is a pumpkin in the arena\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade from 100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSport Grey is 90% cotton and 10% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAsh Grey is 99% cotton and 1% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeather colours are 50% cotton and 50% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 5.0 to 5.3 oz\/yd², or 170 to 180 g\/m²\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOpen-end yarn\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTubular fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTaped neck and shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble seam at sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDue to fabric properties, the White colour variant may appear off-white rather than bright white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDark colour speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the colour Natural\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis T-shirt does not grant official Pumpkin Jousting authority\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny injuries sustained while shouting “it’s tradition” remain your own responsibility\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision, even if the shirt itself is based on agricultural combat nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Disclaimer\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is a recognised cultural activity within Bobes Lore, but should not be attempted without witnesses, appropriate stupidity, and at least one person nearby who knows where the splints are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":58065289969999,"sku":"1723893_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":58065290002767,"sku":"1723893_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":58065290035535,"sku":"1723893_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":58065290068303,"sku":"1723893_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065290101071,"sku":"1723893_11550","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065290133839,"sku":"1723893_12644","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":58065290166607,"sku":"1723893_12645","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":58065290199375,"sku":"1723893_12646","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":58065290232143,"sku":"1723893_15843","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":58065290264911,"sku":"1723893_15844","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":58065290297679,"sku":"1723893_15845","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":58065290330447,"sku":"1723893_15846","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065290363215,"sku":"1723893_15847","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065290395983,"sku":"1723893_15848","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-black-front-and-back-6a5d16d877768.jpg?v=1784485603"},{"product_id":"pumpkin-jousting-women-s-heavyweight-boxy-tee","title":"Pumpkin Jousting Women’s Boxy Tee","description":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTwo Competitors. One Pumpkin. An Entirely Unreasonable Claim to Sporting Legitimacy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe world's greatest sporting competitions have certain things in common.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePrestige.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDedicated competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd officials who understand precisely what is supposed to happen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting has some of these things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere are competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere are traditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd somebody occasionally claims to understand the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWELCOME TO THE SPORT OF AGRICULTURAL CHAMPIONS.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA glorious competitive institution involving pumpkins, sticks, questionable balance and the extraordinary ability of the Bellends to turn seasonal vegetables into a sporting controversy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo the untrained observer, it may appear to be people messing about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis is incorrect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is \u003cstrong\u003eorganised\u003c\/strong\u003e messing about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere is a difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUsually involving somebody insisting that the rules are written down somewhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE BIRTH OF A SPORTING TRADITION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting emerged from the creative traditions of Dug and the wider DayZ community, where almost any activity can become historically significant if enough people witness it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome communities organise races.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome arrange tournaments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome hold festivals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd some decide that the best way to spend an evening is to create a competitive event involving pumpkins and the immediate possibility of public embarrassment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the origins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts conclusion is straightforward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey were correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, this was immediately followed by the discovery that it was possible to establish rules, organise competitors, gather spectators and pretend the whole thing was a prestigious sporting institution.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich is exactly what happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting was no longer simply an activity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt was a tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd as everyone within Bobes Lore understands, once something becomes tradition, questioning its legitimacy is considered deeply disrespectful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIT'S TRADITION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMatter settled.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE OFFICIAL COMPETITION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEvery contest begins with two competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey enter the arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey prepare themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey assess their opponent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey consider their strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd they attempt to maintain the appearance of people who know precisely what they're doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSticks are raised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkins are respected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe spectators begin making encouraging noises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the competition begins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLET THE AGRICULTURAL COMBAT COMMENCE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVictory may depend on timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBalance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePositioning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eConfidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the ability to remain upright while somebody else attempts to demonstrate superior sporting technique.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOf course, the exact requirements of victory can occasionally become a matter of debate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne competitor may claim that their opponent surrendered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe opponent may claim that they merely slipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA spectator may insist that the entire contest should be repeated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd somebody else may confidently announce a rule that nobody remembers hearing before.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS IS WHY WE HAVE REFEREES.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr at least people prepared to act like referees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere is a subtle difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE MYSHKINO SPORTING COMMISSION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAs the community established itself in Myshkino, Pumpkin Jousting became one of the celebrated activities associated with the \u003cstrong\u003eMyshkino Unsupervised Fellowship Federation\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBetter known as \u003cstrong\u003eMUFF\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA travelling fraternal order built upon three noble principles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFriendship.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFellowship.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFucking About.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Three Fs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAn exceptionally strong foundation for community spirit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA considerably weaker foundation for formal sporting governance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNevertheless, the MUFF games became an opportunity for Bellends and other survivors to gather, compete and demonstrate talents that would be difficult to include on a normal sporting CV.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting was particularly well suited to this environment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt encouraged friendly competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt provided entertainment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt gave spectators something to shout about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it allowed the community to resolve sporting disagreements through a process that was technically organised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTECHNICALLY.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society considers this an important distinction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SUBMISSION RULE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOver time, the rules of Pumpkin Jousting have continued to develop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne particularly useful refinement involves submission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWithin the MUFF sporting tradition, a competitor may \u003cstrong\u003etake a knee\u003c\/strong\u003e to acknowledge defeat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA simple system.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eClear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRecognisable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd considerably easier than attempting to negotiate the finer points of agricultural combat while everybody is still shouting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, it has introduced a new question.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHAT COUNTS AS TAKING A KNEE?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDid the competitor surrender?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDid they lose their balance?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWere they attempting a particularly ambitious manoeuvre?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDid somebody shout the instruction at precisely the wrong moment?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr did the competitor simply discover that their legs had stopped cooperating?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has investigated these possibilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts findings are inconclusive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWitness statements vary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral people were laughing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the official responsible for recording the result appears to have become distracted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society therefore recommends that all disputed submissions be carefully reviewed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePreferably by somebody who was actually watching.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGOOD LUCK WITH THAT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE PUMPKIN REGULATIONS.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOf course, the pumpkin remains central to the entire tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is not merely decorative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is not simply a seasonal accessory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a recognised symbol of sporting excellence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entirely unreasonable amount of administrative discussion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society has considered introducing formal pumpkin registration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEach pumpkin would receive an official number.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts condition would be inspected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts suitability for competition would be assessed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd its ownership would be recorded.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis seemed sensible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUntil somebody suggested awarding names.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThen titles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThen individual sporting records.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd eventually somebody proposed a retirement ceremony for pumpkins that had completed their competitive careers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAt this point, the administrative process became considerably more complicated than the actual sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe proposal was suspended.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE PUMPKIN REMAINS UNREGISTERED.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut deeply respected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SPECTATOR'S RESPONSIBILITY.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEvery prestigious tournament requires an audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWithout spectators, how would anybody know who had won?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWho would provide tactical advice?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWho would challenge the referee?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWho would insist that somebody had broken a rule that nobody remembered existing?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd most importantly, who would laugh when a competitor made an exceptionally poor decision?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society recognises spectators as an essential component of Pumpkin Jousting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey provide atmosphere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEncouragement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCommunity spirit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd a remarkably unreliable collection of witness statements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne spectator may insist that the winner demonstrated superior technique.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnother may claim the opponent lost their footing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA third may be unable to comment because they were laughing too hard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAll are valuable contributions to the historical record.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAlthough the Society acknowledges that some are more useful than others.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE TUESDAY QUESTION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNaturally, any competitive activity involving sticks, questionable balance and the possibility of somebody ending up on the ground raises an important cultural concern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIS THIS TUESDAY?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot automatically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is a distinct sporting tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt has its own rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts own competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts own historic significance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd its own remarkable ability to produce incidents that somebody will later attempt to explain away as completely intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNevertheless, the similarities are obvious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth traditions involve trust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth involve sudden developments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth can result in somebody on the ground questioning the decisions that brought them there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd both appear to become considerably funnier when viewed from a safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society therefore considers Pumpkin Jousting \u003cstrong\u003eTuesday-adjacent\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot officially Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot a valid substitute for Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd certainly not permission to disregard the established Tuesday rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut sufficiently close that somebody should probably know where the splints are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE MEDICAL DEPARTMENT HAS BEEN WARNED.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhether it chooses to attend is another matter entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE EMBLEM OF THE AGRICULTURAL ORDER.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich brings us to the artwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe large back design proudly announces \u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING\u003c\/strong\u003e in decorative orange lettering with a medieval-inspired appearance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBeneath it sits a grinning jack-o'-lantern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBehind the pumpkin, crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAn unmistakable symbol of seasonal sporting excellence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr possibly an extremely cheerful warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe emblem looks like something belonging to a historic fighting order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA prestigious organisation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA legendary sporting institution whose competitors have trained for years in the ancient techniques of agricultural combat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, the truth is considerably more entertaining.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a community tradition involving pumpkins, competition and the shared understanding that somebody is probably going to do something ridiculous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAND THAT IS PRECISELY WHY IT DESERVES AN EMBLEM.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE WEARABLE SPORTING UNIFORM.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe relaxed women's boxy fit offers a comfortable, roomy silhouette with a fashionable mid-length cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts soft, lived-in feel makes it ideal for casual outfits, everyday wear, gaming sessions and attending community events where the sporting rules are still being discussed after the competition has finished.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe garment-dyed finish provides a relaxed appearance that suits the casual style of the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike the rules of Pumpkin Jousting, the construction of the T-shirt follows an established manufacturing process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis is reassuring.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParticularly when the subject matter involves seasonal combat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e, the back artwork combines orange lettering, a grinning pumpkin and crossed white bones for a bold, recognisable design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the pub.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWear it while gaming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWear it while spectating at the next in-game tournament.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr simply wear it because you believe that pumpkins deserve their own sporting heritage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society considers this a perfectly reasonable position.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompared with most of the other things it has been asked to document.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FINAL SPORTING VERDICT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne extremely important pumpkin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral disputed rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAn entire gaggle of Bellends providing unsolicited commentary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the comforting possibility that somebody will eventually be declared the winner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot merely a game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot merely a tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut a glorious celebration of friendship, fellowship and the extraordinary things that happen when people decide to introduce competitive rules to seasonal vegetables.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis women's heavyweight boxy T-shirt features a large \u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING\u003c\/strong\u003e back print with decorative orange lettering, a grinning jack-o'-lantern and crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design celebrates the established Pumpkin Jousting tradition created by Dug and embraced through community events and the MUFF games.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts medieval-inspired artwork combines seasonal imagery with a playful sporting emblem, reflecting the absurd competitive heritage of agricultural combat within Bobes Lore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe relaxed boxy fit and fashionable mid-length cut provide a comfortable, contemporary silhouette ideal for everyday wear, casual outfits, gaming sessions and layering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts soft, lived-in feel provides everyday comfort, while the roomy shape offers a relaxed alternative to closer-fitting T-shirts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e with a large orange and pumpkin-coloured back print featuring crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Bellends, MUFF members, DayZ enthusiasts, LHS historians, Pumpkin Jousting competitors and spectators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAgricultural honour included. Official sporting competence not guaranteed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this T-shirt does not grant official Pumpkin Jousting authority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not qualify the wearer as a referee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not guarantee victory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve balance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not increase stick accuracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not prevent falls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve pumpkin durability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it certainly does not guarantee that your opponent will remember the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe jack-o'-lantern and crossed bones are decorative artwork and should not be interpreted as genuine protective equipment, an official sporting licence or evidence that Pumpkin Jousting has been approved by any recognised athletic governing body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include pumpkins, sticks, ceremonial weapons, protective equipment, referees, medical supplies, splints, official rulebooks, guaranteed victories or MUFF membership.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe heavyweight fabric does not provide protection against blunt-force trauma, unexpected Tuesdays, infected attacks or poor decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe relaxed boxy fit does not improve competitive performance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the printed pumpkin has absolutely no authority to resolve disputed sporting results.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for bruised pride, disputed victories, unexpected falls, damaged vegetables, questionable sporting decisions or anyone announcing that their defeat should be overturned because the rules were unclear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is a fictional in-game community tradition. The design does not encourage physical combat or unsafe activities in real life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis garment undergoes garment-dyeing and softening processes, which may cause slight colour variations between individual T-shirts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThese variations are normal manufacturing characteristics and should not be interpreted as evidence that the sporting authorities have interfered with production.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the T-shirt as protective equipment during any physical competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not attempt to recreate the illustrated crossed bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the garment to transport actual pumpkins into battle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd do not assume that shouting \u003cstrong\u003e\"IT'S TRADITION\"\u003c\/strong\u003e removes the requirement to behave sensibly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe sport is cultural.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe clothing is decorative.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDignity remains entirely optional.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Pumpkin Jousting, where competitors may be assembled with very little preparation and an alarming amount of confidence, each T-shirt is manufactured on demand rather than produced in unnecessary quantities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis means production and delivery may take a little longer, but it helps reduce overproduction, unwanted stock and warehouses filled with agricultural combat merchandise awaiting the next ceremonial tournament.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYour T-shirt will be manufactured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe pumpkin will remain decorative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe crossed bones will remain part of the artwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the official sporting rules will continue to be interpreted with varying degrees of confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎃 Official Pumpkin Jousting Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚔️ Agricultural Combat Sporting Division\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏟️ MUFF Community Games Heritage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛡️ Ceremonial Pumpkin Competition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩹 Tuesday-Adjacent Sporting Activity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📜 Livonia Historical Society Sporting Archive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏆 Victory Subject to Official Interpretation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Pumpkins Respected. Dignity Not Guaranteed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Context Provided. Pumpkins Not Learned.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral questionable rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire community willing to call the result historically significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeasonal combat. Agricultural honour. No refunds on dignity.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eVerified by someone who was there, maybe.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":59221708243279,"sku":"5452086_22584","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":59221708276047,"sku":"5452086_22589","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":59221708308815,"sku":"5452086_22594","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":59221708341583,"sku":"5452086_22599","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":59221708374351,"sku":"5452086_22604","price":27.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":59221708407119,"sku":"5452086_22587","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":59221708439887,"sku":"5452086_22592","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":59221708472655,"sku":"5452086_22597","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":59221708505423,"sku":"5452086_22602","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":59221708538191,"sku":"5452086_22607","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ S","offer_id":59221708570959,"sku":"5452086_22586","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ M","offer_id":59221708603727,"sku":"5452086_22591","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ L","offer_id":59221708636495,"sku":"5452086_22596","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ XL","offer_id":59221708669263,"sku":"5452086_22601","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orchid \/ 2XL","offer_id":59221708702031,"sku":"5452086_22606","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/womens-heavyweight-boxy-t-shirt-orchid-back-6ae8b57bbef07.png?v=1793635741"},{"product_id":"pumpkin-jousting-women-s-basic-softstyle-t-shirt","title":"Pumpkin Jousting Women’s Softstyle Tee","description":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAgricultural Combat. Ceremonial Honour. Dignity Not Guaranteed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome sporting traditions are built on centuries of discipline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome celebrate strength, endurance and extraordinary athletic ability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome require years of training, expensive equipment and a detailed understanding of the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd some begin when somebody looks at a pumpkin and decides it should be involved in a fight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWELCOME TO PUMPKIN JOUSTING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the finest examples of what happens when a community is given pumpkins, sticks, a little spare time and absolutely no meaningful supervision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a cultural institution.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it is precisely the sort of activity that the Livonia Historical Society feels morally obligated to document.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePreferably from a safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SPORT OF AGRICULTURAL CHAMPIONS.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThroughout history, people have found increasingly creative ways to settle disputes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNegotiation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDiplomacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDebate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCarefully organised competitions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd occasionally, hitting each other with things until somebody falls over.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting belongs firmly within the proud tradition of competitive nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe premise is remarkably simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors enter the arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkins are respected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSticks are raised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSpectators gather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the usual standards of sensible behaviour are temporarily suspended.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLET THE JOUST BEGIN.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe precise details of victory may vary depending on the event, the competitors and whether anybody remembered to explain the rules beforehand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBalance matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTiming matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eConfidence matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd falling over in a particularly convincing manner is generally considered a significant competitive disadvantage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnless the fall was intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn which case, further discussion may be required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE REFEREE'S DECISION IS FINAL.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnless challenged by someone with a sufficiently loud voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE LHS HISTORICAL RECORD.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe origins of Pumpkin Jousting are closely associated with Dug and the wider community's remarkable ability to invent sporting traditions that probably should not exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAs part of the wider Bobes Lore cultural record, the activity has been documented by the Livonia Historical Society as a recognised form of agricultural competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot because anybody requested formal recognition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot because a governing body was consulted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd certainly not because the sport had demonstrated an acceptable safety record.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut because it happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople enjoyed it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd somebody decided that calling it tradition made the whole thing considerably more respectable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIT'S TRADITION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA powerful statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParticularly when being used to justify something that probably shouldn't have happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnder normal circumstances, a historical society might investigate origins, consult witnesses and review available evidence before recognising a cultural practice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has developed a more efficient approach.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDid something ridiculous happen?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWere there witnesses?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDid somebody laugh?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCan it be repeated?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIf so, congratulations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYOU MAY HAVE INVENTED A TRADITION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFurther paperwork is optional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAlthough a plaque may eventually be required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE MYSHKINO GAMES.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting became one of the celebrated activities associated with the Myshkino Unsupervised Fellowship Federation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBetter known as \u003cstrong\u003eMUFF\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA travelling fraternal order built upon three essential principles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFriendship.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFellowship.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFucking About.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Three Fs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA remarkably effective foundation for community events.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an absolutely terrible foundation for convincing an insurance company that everything was properly organised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAlongside other questionable recreational activities, Pumpkin Jousting provided an opportunity for competitors to demonstrate courage, enthusiasm and the ability to remain upright under pressure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome were successful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome were less successful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome may have discovered that competitive agricultural traditions are considerably more physically demanding than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut everybody contributed to the cultural record.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEspecially the people who fell over.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHEY ARE OFTEN THE MOST MEMORABLE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE RULES ARE VERY CLEAR.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProbably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting operates under a collection of established sporting principles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompetitors should enter the arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey should understand that a contest is taking place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey should attempt to win.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd they should ideally remain standing long enough for the spectators to understand what happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWithin the MUFF sporting tradition, taking a knee may be used to signify submission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA sensible development.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt creates a recognisable ending.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt allows an opponent to acknowledge defeat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it offers the referee a convenient method of determining whether somebody has surrendered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, this raises an important question.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHAT IF THE KNEE WASN'T TAKEN VOLUNTARILY?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps the competitor lost their balance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps they became confused.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps something happened to their legs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps somebody shouted \"take a knee\" and they misunderstood the instruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThese are matters requiring careful consideration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society recommends that any disputes be resolved through calm discussion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr another round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhichever seems funnier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE PUMPKIN ITSELF.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOf course, no account of Pumpkin Jousting would be complete without acknowledging the most important participant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe pumpkin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA noble vegetable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically a fruit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut nobody wants to complicate the sporting regulations with botanical arguments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is orange.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is culturally significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it has somehow become the centrepiece of a competitive event.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has considered whether pumpkins should receive official sporting recognition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProposals have included registration numbers, ceremonial inspections and individual certificates of agricultural suitability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, the administrative burden quickly became unreasonable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomebody suggested that each pumpkin should be given a name.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomebody else suggested awarding the winning pumpkin a medal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd before long, the Society found itself discussing whether a vegetable could hold an honorary title.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe matter was suspended.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE PUMPKIN REMAINS UNREGISTERED.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts sporting importance, however, is undisputed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE TUESDAY QUESTION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNaturally, any activity involving sticks, questionable balance and enthusiastic competitors raises an important concern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIs this Tuesday?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe answer is no.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot automatically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is its own established tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWith its own sporting rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts own cultural significance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd its own opportunities for somebody to make an exceptionally poor decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHowever, the similarities are difficult to ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth traditions involve trust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth involve unexpected developments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth have the potential to leave somebody on the ground questioning their friendships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd both are usually considerably more entertaining for the witnesses.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS therefore recognises Pumpkin Jousting as \u003cstrong\u003eTuesday-adjacent\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot officially Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot legally Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd not a valid excuse to disregard the established Tuesday rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut sufficiently close that somebody should probably check the splint supply before the competition begins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE MEDICAL DEPARTMENT HAS BEEN INFORMED.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt has not necessarily agreed to attend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE IMPORTANCE OF THE AUDIENCE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEvery great sport needs spectators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople to cheer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople to encourage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople to provide tactical advice from a position of absolutely no personal danger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd people who will confidently explain the rules despite having discovered them approximately thirty seconds earlier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is no different.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe crowd is essential.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWithout witnesses, how would anybody know who won?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWho would settle disputes?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWho would laugh when somebody fell over?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd most importantly, who would provide the Livonia Historical Society with wildly inconsistent accounts of what actually happened?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society considers spectators a vital part of the sporting tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEven if their principal contribution is shouting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE OFFICIAL SPORTING EMBLEM.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich brings us to the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe back features bold \u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING\u003c\/strong\u003e lettering in orange, styled with a medieval-inspired appearance suitable for such a prestigious agricultural competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBeneath the text sits a grinning jack-o'-lantern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBehind it, crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA cheerful little sporting emblem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWith just enough menace to suggest that the activity may have involved an unfortunate incident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork captures everything that makes Pumpkin Jousting culturally significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeasonal enthusiasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCompetitive spirit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eQuestionable judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the comforting knowledge that somebody has probably checked where the nearest splints are kept.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS IS AGRICULTURAL SPORTING HERITAGE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr at least the closest thing we're likely to get.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE WEARABLE TOURNAMENT UNIFORM.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe women's semi-fitted cut follows the body's natural lines without feeling tight, offering comfortable everyday wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts soft, lightweight feel makes it ideal for casual outfits, gaming sessions, community events and spectating at a perfectly ridiculous in-game sporting tournament.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWear it on its own or layer it beneath a jacket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAlthough the Livonia Historical Society recommends occasionally revealing the back print so fellow Bellends can identify your commitment to agricultural competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e, the T-shirt provides a striking background for the orange lettering, grinning pumpkin and crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for spectators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for MUFF members.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd perfect for anybody who believes that seasonal vegetables deserve their own ceremonial combat tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FINAL SPORTING ASSESSMENT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral questionable rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne extremely important pumpkin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire gaggle of Bellends prepared to declare the outcome historically significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeasonal combat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAgricultural honour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDeeply questionable sporting excellence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd absolutely no guarantee that dignity will survive the opening round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis women's softstyle T-shirt features a large \u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING\u003c\/strong\u003e back print with decorative orange lettering, a grinning jack-o'-lantern and crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design celebrates one of Bobes Lore's established sporting traditions, created by Dug and embraced through community events and the MUFF games.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork combines seasonal imagery with a playful, slightly menacing sporting emblem, reflecting the wonderfully questionable nature of competitive agricultural combat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe women's semi-fitted cut follows the body's natural lines without feeling restrictive, providing a comfortable and flattering shape for everyday wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts soft, lightweight feel makes it ideal for casual outfits, gaming sessions, community events and layering beneath a jacket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e with a large orange and pumpkin-coloured back print featuring crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Bellends, MUFF members, DayZ enthusiasts, LHS historians, Pumpkin Jousting competitors and spectators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAgricultural honour included. Actual sporting competence not guaranteed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this T-shirt does not grant official Pumpkin Jousting authority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not qualify the wearer as a referee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not guarantee victory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve balance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not increase stick accuracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not prevent falls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve pumpkin durability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it certainly does not guarantee that your opponent will remember the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe jack-o'-lantern and crossed bones are decorative artwork and should not be interpreted as genuine protective equipment, an official sporting licence or evidence that Pumpkin Jousting has been approved by any recognised athletic governing body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include pumpkins, sticks, ceremonial weapons, protective equipment, referees, medical supplies, splints, official rulebooks, guaranteed victories or MUFF membership.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe lightweight fabric does not provide protection against blunt-force trauma, unexpected Tuesdays, infected attacks or poor decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe semi-fitted cut does not improve your competitive performance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the printed pumpkin has absolutely no authority to resolve disputed sporting results.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for bruised pride, disputed victories, unexpected falls, damaged vegetables, questionable sporting decisions or anyone announcing that their defeat should be overturned because the rules were unclear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is a fictional in-game community tradition. The design does not encourage physical combat or unsafe activities in real life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDue to fabric properties, a White colour variant, if offered, may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the T-shirt as protective equipment during any physical contest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not attempt to recreate the illustrated crossed bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the garment to carry actual pumpkins into battle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd do not assume that shouting \u003cstrong\u003e\"IT'S TRADITION\"\u003c\/strong\u003e removes the requirement to behave sensibly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe sport is cultural.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe clothing is decorative.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe consequences of actual poor decisions remain entirely your responsibility.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Pumpkin Jousting, where participants may be assembled with very little preparation and an alarming amount of confidence, each T-shirt is manufactured on demand rather than produced in unnecessary quantities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis means production and delivery may take a little longer, but it helps reduce overproduction, unwanted stock and warehouses filled with agricultural combat merchandise awaiting the next ceremonial tournament.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYour T-shirt will be manufactured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe pumpkin will remain decorative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe crossed bones will remain part of the artwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the official sporting rules will continue to be interpreted with varying degrees of confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎃 Official Pumpkin Jousting Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚔️ Agricultural Combat Sporting Division\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏟️ MUFF Community Games Heritage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛡️ Ceremonial Pumpkin Competition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩹 Tuesday-Adjacent Sporting Activity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📜 Livonia Historical Society Sporting Archive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏆 Victory Subject to Official Interpretation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Pumpkins Respected. Dignity Not Guaranteed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Context Provided. Pumpkins Not Learned.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral questionable rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire community willing to call the result historically significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeasonal combat. Agricultural honour. No refunds on dignity.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eVerified by someone who was there, maybe.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":59221710569807,"sku":"5084689_22175","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":59221710602575,"sku":"5084689_22186","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":59221710635343,"sku":"5084689_22197","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":59221710668111,"sku":"5084689_22208","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":59221710700879,"sku":"5084689_22219","price":25.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"RS Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":59221710733647,"sku":"5084689_22181","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"RS Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":59221710766415,"sku":"5084689_22192","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"RS Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":59221710799183,"sku":"5084689_22203","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"RS Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":59221710831951,"sku":"5084689_22214","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"RS Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":59221710864719,"sku":"5084689_22225","price":25.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/womens-basic-softstyle-t-shirt-black-back-6ae8b4e1f1640.png?v=1793635589"},{"product_id":"pumpkin-jousting-unisex-hoodie","title":"Pumpkin Jousting Hoodie","description":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeasonal Combat. Agricultural Honour. Deeply Questionable Sporting Excellence.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThroughout history, humanity has developed many noble sporting traditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFencing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eArchery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWrestling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eJousting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eActivities requiring discipline, courage, training and a reasonable understanding of the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd then there's Pumpkin Jousting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SPORT NOBODY ASKED FOR.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA proud tradition involving pumpkins, sticks, questionable balance and the sort of competitive spirit normally associated with people who should probably have gone home several hours earlier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a ceremony.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is an important part of the wider Bobes Lore cultural landscape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it is probably responsible for several incidents that would be difficult to explain to an insurance company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWELCOME TO THE ARENA.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors enter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne contest begins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkins are respected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSticks are raised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSpectators gather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd dignity immediately leaves the premises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe winner will be remembered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe loser may require assistance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the Livonia Historical Society will almost certainly record the event in considerably more detail than it deserves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE ORIGINS OF AGRICULTURAL COMBAT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting was developed through the extraordinary creativity of Dug and the wider community's remarkable ability to turn almost anything into a competitive activity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is one of those traditions that makes perfect sense once you've spent enough time among the Bellends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo an outsider, the concept may appear unusual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps even ridiculous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome might question why pumpkins are involved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOthers may ask whether the sticks are strictly necessary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd a particularly sensible observer might suggest that the entire activity should probably be reconsidered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed these concerns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts response is straightforward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIT'S TRADITION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFurther explanation is unnecessary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAlthough several lengthy explanations are available.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMost of them contradict each other.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is not simply a matter of running around with seasonal vegetables.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere are rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStandards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eExpectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd a remarkable amount of confidence that everybody understands what is happening.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe precise wording may vary depending on the arena, the competitors and whether anybody remembered to write the rules down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut the fundamental principle remains.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne contest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA combination of courage, positioning, timing and agricultural enthusiasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eVictory may be determined by superior technique.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBetter balance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA decisive demonstration of skill.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr an opponent falling over in a manner that everyone agrees looked convincing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn the MUFF sporting tradition, taking a knee may also signify submission.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAlthough whether the knee was taken voluntarily, accidentally or because somebody's legs have stopped cooperating remains a matter for the officials.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE REFEREE'S DECISION IS FINAL.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnless somebody disputes it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich is extremely likely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE GREAT PUMPKIN QUESTION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOf course, the pumpkin itself occupies a position of enormous cultural importance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is not simply a vegetable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a symbol.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAn emblem of competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA representation of seasonal sporting excellence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd occasionally an object that somebody has become unnecessarily attached to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has considered whether pumpkins should be treated as official sporting equipment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe answer is yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt has also considered whether they should be given ceremonial titles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe answer remains under review.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne suggestion involved awarding each pumpkin an individual registration number.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnother proposed a formal agricultural inspection before every contest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA third suggested allowing competitors to name their pumpkins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, this resulted in somebody becoming emotionally invested in a vegetable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe proposal was suspended.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE PUMPKIN MUST REMAIN NEUTRAL.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAt least until the competition begins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE MYSHKINO SPORTING ERA.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAs the community gathered in Myshkino under the banner of the \u003cstrong\u003eMyshkino Unsupervised Fellowship Federation\u003c\/strong\u003e, Pumpkin Jousting found a natural home among a collection of equally questionable recreational activities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe MUFF games celebrated friendship, fellowship and the noble art of fucking about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere were competitions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere were spectators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere were creative interpretations of sporting achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd there were almost certainly moments when somebody should have reconsidered the wisdom of what they were doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting was particularly well suited to the occasion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAfter all, what better way to bring a community together than inviting two people to engage in ceremonial agricultural combat while everybody else cheers them on?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe answer, according to the Society, is that there are probably several better ways.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut none quite as entertaining.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFRIENDSHIP. FELLOWSHIP. FUCKING ABOUT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Three Fs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNow with additional pumpkins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE TUESDAY CONNECTION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOf course, any activity involving sticks, questionable balance and enthusiastic participants raises an important question.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIs it Tuesday?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is not officially a Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a separate cultural tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWith its own rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts own sporting significance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd its own opportunities for somebody to make an extremely poor decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNevertheless, the similarities are difficult to ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth traditions involve trust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth involve unexpected developments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBoth have the potential to result in somebody lying on the ground questioning their friendships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd both are considerably more entertaining to the people watching than to the person currently attempting to stand up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS therefore classifies Pumpkin Jousting as \u003cstrong\u003eTuesday-adjacent\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot officially Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot automatically Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd certainly not an excuse to ignore the established Tuesday rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut sufficiently close that the medical supplies should probably be checked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SPLINTS ARE NOT DECORATIVE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE ROLE OF THE SPECTATOR.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEvery great sport needs an audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople to cheer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople to encourage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePeople to offer completely unhelpful tactical advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd people who will confidently explain the rules despite having learned them approximately thirty seconds earlier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is no different.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe spectators are essential.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWithout them, how would anybody know who won?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHow would disputes be settled?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWho would laugh when somebody fell over?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd most importantly, who would inform the Livonia Historical Society that something historically significant had occurred?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society considers spectators a vital component of the sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEven if their principal contribution is shouting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SPORTING DRESS CODE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNaturally, such a prestigious activity requires suitable clothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomething that identifies the wearer's appreciation of agricultural competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomething appropriate for cooler weather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomething comfortable enough for standing around an arena while two other people demonstrate questionable judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd something that makes it immediately clear which sporting tradition is being supported.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEnter the Pumpkin Jousting back-print design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLarge orange lettering proudly announces \u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBeneath it sits a grinning jack-o'-lantern, backed by crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA cheerful sporting emblem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWith just enough menace to suggest that the event may not have passed a formal safety inspection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe whole design looks like the official insignia of an ancient agricultural fighting order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich is extremely appropriate for a tradition whose historical records may have been written on a damp note somewhere near Myshkino.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE HOODIE ITSELF.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe classic unisex fit offers comfortable everyday wear, while the soft fleece interior provides welcome warmth during cooler weather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIdeal for watching a competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWaiting for your turn.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStanding around discussing the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr retreating to a safe distance when somebody announces that the next round will be more ambitious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe double-lined hood offers additional warmth and a convenient place to hide your face when somebody you encouraged to participate immediately falls over.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe front pouch pocket is useful for everyday essentials.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eKeys.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePhone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSnacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA notebook containing the official rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePossibly a spare splint, although the Society recommends proper medical supplies rather than improvising something from the contents of a hoodie pocket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e, the large orange and white back design gives the hoodie a bold, recognisable appearance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Bellends, MUFF members, DayZ enthusiasts, spectators, competitors and anyone who appreciates a sporting tradition that somehow manages to combine pumpkins, ceremonial combat and an entirely unreasonable amount of confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FINAL SPORTING VERDICT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is more than a game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is community.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is an excuse to gather people together and celebrate the extraordinary things that can happen when somebody introduces competitive rules to seasonal vegetables.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere will be winners.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere will be losers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere will be arguments about the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd there will almost certainly be somebody explaining that their defeat was caused by circumstances entirely beyond their control.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts assessment is definitive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeasonal combat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAgricultural honour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDeeply questionable sporting excellence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd a remarkable opportunity to become historically significant for all the wrong reasons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis classic unisex hoodie features a large \u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING\u003c\/strong\u003e back print, with decorative orange lettering and a grinning jack-o'-lantern positioned over crossed white bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design celebrates one of the recognised cultural traditions of Bobes Lore, developed by Dug and embraced through community events and the MUFF sporting tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts playful, slightly menacing artwork captures the absurd sporting heritage of Pumpkin Jousting, combining festive imagery with the unmistakable suggestion that somebody may require medical attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe classic fit and soft fleece interior offer comfortable everyday wear, while the double-lined hood provides additional warmth during cooler weather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe front pouch pocket provides convenient storage for everyday essentials, although pumpkins and jousting equipment are not recommended.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e with a large orange, white and pumpkin-coloured back print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Bellends, MUFF members, DayZ players, LHS historians, Pumpkin Jousting competitors, spectators and anybody who believes that seasonal vegetables deserve their own organised combat sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAgricultural honour included. Actual sporting competence sold separately.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this hoodie does not grant official Pumpkin Jousting authority.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not qualify the wearer as a referee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not guarantee victory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve balance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not increase stick accuracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not prevent falls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not improve pumpkin durability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it certainly does not guarantee that your opponent will remember the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe jack-o'-lantern and crossed bones are decorative artwork and should not be interpreted as genuine protective equipment, an official sporting licence or evidence that Pumpkin Jousting has been approved by any recognised athletic governing body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include pumpkins, sticks, ceremonial weapons, protective equipment, referees, medical supplies, splints, official rulebooks, guaranteed victories or MUFF membership.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe soft fleece interior provides warmth, not protection against blunt-force trauma.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe double-lined hood does not function as a safety helmet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe front pouch pocket is not an approved pumpkin storage compartment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for bruised pride, disputed results, unexpected falls, damaged vegetables, questionable sporting decisions or anyone announcing that their defeat should be overturned because the rules were unclear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is a fictional in-game community tradition. The design does not encourage physical combat or unsafe activities in real life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDue to fabric properties, a White colour variant, if offered, may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the hoodie as protective equipment during any physical contest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not attempt to recreate the illustrated crossed bones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the pouch pocket to transport a full-sized pumpkin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd do not assume that shouting \u003cstrong\u003e\"IT'S TRADITION\"\u003c\/strong\u003e removes the requirement to behave sensibly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe sport is cultural.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe clothing is decorative.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe consequences of actual poor decisions remain entirely your responsibility.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Pumpkin Jousting, where participants may be assembled with very little preparation and an alarming amount of confidence, each hoodie is manufactured on demand rather than produced in unnecessary quantities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis means production and delivery may take a little longer, but it helps reduce overproduction, unwanted stock and warehouses filled with agricultural combat merchandise awaiting the next ceremonial tournament.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYour hoodie will be manufactured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe pumpkin will remain decorative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe crossed bones will remain part of the artwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the official sporting rules will continue to be interpreted with varying degrees of confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎃 Official Pumpkin Jousting Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚔️ Agricultural Combat Sporting Division\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏟️ MUFF Community Games Heritage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛡️ Ceremonial Pumpkin Competition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩹 Tuesday-Adjacent Sporting Activity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📜 Livonia Historical Society Sporting Archive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏆 Victory Subject to Official Interpretation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Pumpkins Respected. Dignity Not Guaranteed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Context Provided. Pumpkins Not Learned.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePUMPKIN JOUSTING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne arena.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral questionable rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire community willing to call the result historically significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeasonal combat. Agricultural honour. No refunds on dignity.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eVerified by someone who was there, maybe.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":59221713617231,"sku":"6229394_5530","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":59221713649999,"sku":"6229394_5531","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":59221713682767,"sku":"6229394_5532","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":59221713715535,"sku":"6229394_5533","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":59221713748303,"sku":"6229394_5534","price":35.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":59221713781071,"sku":"6229394_5535","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":59221713813839,"sku":"6229394_5536","price":38.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":59221713846607,"sku":"6229394_5537","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-heavy-blend-hoodie-black-back-6ae8b454dfc70.png?v=1793635459"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/collections\/ChatGPT_Image_Nov_3_2026_06_05_42_PM.png?v=1793729191","url":"https:\/\/onlybobs.shop\/collections\/pumpkin-jousting.oembed","provider":"Bobs Merch Store ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}