{"title":"Stream Quotes","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome things Bob says are useful. Some are confusing. Some sound like they should never have left his mouth in the first place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis collection is built around the stream quotes that somehow survived chat, became lore, and now deserve to be worn, displayed, or quietly explained to confused family members. From “Have you got any nails, perchance?” to “Zombie Overwatch” and “I’m bleeding, again...”, these are the moments that made perfect sense at the time and absolutely no sense afterwards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach piece of loot in this collection celebrates the strange little phrases, accidental wisdom, survival panic, navigation failures, and questionable confidence that make Bob’s streams what they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eContext optional. Accuracy disputed. Lessons not learned.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"unisex-classic-tee","title":"Make Private Islands Great Again Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrivate Island Living. CCC Approved Never. Available in Grey and Black.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Travel Agency would like to stress that the private island project was a success right up until the paperwork became visible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore the inspection notice, everything was going beautifully.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere was a base.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere was confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere was barbed wire in places barbed wire could technically be placed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere were natural foundations, which is a polite way of saying roots were doing more structural work than anyone wanted to admit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere was also a pig.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe pig looked worried.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe pig was the only one reading the situation correctly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency Private Island Compliance T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e celebrates the proud LTA attempt to make private island living great again by building a tropical base, receiving a formal construction notice, failing socially with unexpected visitors, and then attempting to pass an official inspection by Cal’s Cool Construction Company while absolutely nothing suspicious had happened nearby.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal asked questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe residents provided confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal inspected the roof.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe roof declined to participate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal questioned the foundations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe weeds remained silent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal judged the barbed wire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe pig looked increasingly like it wanted legal advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis T-shirt features the \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency\u003c\/strong\u003e private island design with the slogan \u003cstrong\u003eMaking Private 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for Bob’s Bellends, shed economists, market optimists, confirmed Paid Actors, and anyone still waiting for their imaginary dividends to clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBOB Coin has no value and immeasurable worth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt cannot be exchanged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is freely tradable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is worthless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is priceless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll transactions are final.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing settles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eAvailable Colours\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnregulated Black\u003c\/strong\u003e - dark, official-looking, and almost certainly not approved by any recognised financial body.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTuesday Peg Heather\u003c\/strong\u003e - unstable, absolute, and emotionally tied to market conditions nobody understands.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 100% cotton unisex classic tee helps you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, wearable, and ideal for making bold investment statements without accidentally learning anything about finance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this shirt does not constitute financial advice, investment advice, legal advice, or evidence that BOB Coin has ever had a functioning market.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBOB Coin is permanently pegged to Tuesdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe peg is unstable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe peg is absolute.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for emotional investing, shouting “buy the dip” near breakfast, demanding payment in BOB Coin, or being appointed to the Bellend Oversight \u0026amp; Behaviour Board without warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAny resemblance between this shirt and a sound financial strategy is purely accidental and should be reported to the Deputy Undersecretary of Monetary Bankruptcy immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike BOB Coin, we try not to produce unlimited theoretical assets with no clear backing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but it helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and the kind of questionable supply decisions usually handled during Tuesday arrears meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has reviewed this process and confirmed it is probably less risky than the coin itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪙 Investor Grade Delusion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bank of Bellends Approved\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📉 Financially Unsafe Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏚 Shed Economist Certified\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📒 Nothing Settles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Investor’s T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause smart money asks questions, and Bob Coin investors simply invest harder.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ S","offer_id":58065184293199,"sku":"7172169_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ M","offer_id":58065184325967,"sku":"7172169_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ L","offer_id":58065184358735,"sku":"7172169_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ XL","offer_id":58065184391503,"sku":"7172169_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065184424271,"sku":"7172169_11550","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065184457039,"sku":"7172169_12644","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":58065184489807,"sku":"7172169_12645","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unregulated Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":58065184522575,"sku":"7172169_12646","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ S","offer_id":58065184555343,"sku":"7172169_15843","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ M","offer_id":58065184588111,"sku":"7172169_15844","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ L","offer_id":58065184620879,"sku":"7172169_15845","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ XL","offer_id":58065184653647,"sku":"7172169_15846","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065184686415,"sku":"7172169_15847","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Tuesday Peg Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065184719183,"sku":"7172169_15848","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-black-front-and-back-6a5d172bc23a7.jpg?v=1784485687"},{"product_id":"beating-cocks-missing-shots","title":"Beating Cocks \u0026 Missing Shots Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGrey or Black Tee. 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Worm Successfully Secured.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome T-shirts carry a message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one carries a small bird carrying a worm, which is somehow both adorable and deeply suspicious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji Back Print T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e features the phrase \u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji\u003c\/strong\u003e on the back, accompanied by a cute bird with a worm in its beak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt looks wholesome at first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is how it gets you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBehind the soft little bird is the full cultural weight of Worm Emoji, Friday freshie panic, chat chanting, and the sacred survival disaster known as \u003cstrong\u003eWorm Rave Roulette\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe bird has already found the worm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob probably has not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is the tension.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis design is perfect for Bellends, early risers, stream quote collectors, worm dancers, and anyone who enjoys cute artwork attached to completely unreasonable lore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in three officially questionable colours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eKnife Not Found White\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those who woke up early, saw the bird succeed, and immediately realised they were still holding no knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFreshie Black\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those who hear the song begin and understand that the bird is already doing better than Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirt Pending Grey\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those still searching for a blade while the bird casually leaves with the prize.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe early bird gets the worm emoji. Everyone else gets panic.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Early Bird Gets The Worm Emoji Back Print T-Shirt features a back design with the phrase \u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji\u003c\/strong\u003e alongside a cute bird holding a worm in its beak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 100% cotton unisex classic tee helps you land a more structured look, even if the message on the back suggests the bird has a better survival strategy than most freshies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits, morning coffee, Friday panic, and trying to explain why the bird has a worm and Bob does not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, clean, and extra trendy now, according to the blank shirt description, which has not yet been briefed on Worm Rave Roulette.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in 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supervision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for confused strangers, worm chanting, excessive optimism, failed freshie starts, Bob dying again, or anyone attempting to explain this proverb to a normal person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDue to fabric properties, the White colour variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDark colour speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the Natural colour variant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this shirt to dig for worms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not cut this shirt into strips for emergency fishing gear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not feed this shirt to the early bird.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe early bird may get the worm emoji, but it still has to live with that decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike 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worms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not summon worms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not improve your odds during Worm Rave Roulette.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not guarantee that waking up early will help Bob find a knife, locate a worm, or survive longer than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji\u003c\/strong\u003e is not nutritional advice, survival guidance, farming instruction, or a legally recognised breakfast plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for excessive coffee consumption, worm chanting, confused guests, or anyone asking why your mug sounds like chat got involved in a proverb.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to dig for worms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not place actual worms inside the mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not ask text-to-speech to read the mug out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike chat, we try not to produce unlimited worm-related objects without warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and unnecessary piles of mugs staring at us with worm-based intent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the worm got there first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪱 Worm Emoji Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Stream Quote Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐦 Early Bird Propaganda\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎰 Worm Rave Roulette Adjacent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Cultural Incident Ware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEarly Bird Gets The Worm Emoji Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause some mornings need coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd some mornings need coffee with worm-based consequences.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58074775191887,"sku":"8406546_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58074775224655,"sku":"8406546_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58074775257423,"sku":"8406546_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a4138d9b3c0b.jpg?v=1782659331"},{"product_id":"no-one-told-me-about-the-fucking-bears-mug","title":"No One Told Me About the Fucking Bears Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial drinkware for anyone who entered Vikendi under-informed, under-vehicled, and spiritually unprepared.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs celebrate victory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one commemorates a very specific failure to achieve chicken dinner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eNo One Told Me About the Fucking Bears Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e honours the now infamous PUBG expedition where Bob, armed with an SKS, a holo sight, no vehicle, and absolutely no meaningful bear policy, wandered slightly too close to where the bears live.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not DayZ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not Chernarus.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not even a sensible rotation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut Bob’s Lore followed him through the loading screen anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on a sturdy white ceramic mug, this phrase captures the exact moment battle royale confidence met local Vikendi wildlife and lost badly. Perfect for coffee, tea, survival juice, or whatever you drink while pretending the bear situation was someone else’s fault.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial LHS sizing note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bigger mugs do not improve bear awareness, vehicle availability, or chicken dinner probability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Bob entering bear country, this decision is considered sensible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFinal Archive Note\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Vikendi Bear Incident proves that Bob’s Lore is not attached to a map, server, genre, or game engine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is attached to Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can remove Bob from DayZ. You can put him in PUBG. You can drop him from a plane, give him snow, loot, a shrinking circle, and the promise of chicken.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut if there is wildlife nearby, no vehicle available, and nobody has explained the danger properly, the outcome remains inevitable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Bears not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo one told him about the fucking bears.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob went hungry. No chicken dinner.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐻 Vikendi Bear Incident Approved Equipment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Cross-Game Survival Beverage Holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🍗 No Chicken Dinner Commemorative Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔵 Blue Zone Emotional Support Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧭 Directionally Optimistic PUBG Rotation Cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 SKS With Holo Sight Coping Accessory\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🚗 No Vehicle Found Field Hydration Unit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Wildlife Awareness Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075074560335,"sku":"6125272_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075074593103,"sku":"6125272_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075074625871,"sku":"6125272_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a41430e0845f.jpg?v=1782661951"},{"product_id":"cocks","title":"Beating Cocks \u0026 Missing Shots Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhite Mug. Beat-Up Cockerel. Aim Still Under Review.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs are made for peaceful mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not one of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e exists to honour one of Bob’s finest accidental field reports, delivered when someone made the mistake of asking what he was up to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob’s reply was simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Beating cocks and missing shots.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo further explanation was needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, Bob’s Lore does not work like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis white ceramic mug features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character alongside the now historically concerning phrase, capturing Bob in one of his purest survival states.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArmed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHungry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDistracted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSurrounded by better options.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd still choosing to settle poultry disputes with his bare hands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost survivors, when faced with a chicken, might use a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr an axe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr a gun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr basic sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob appears to consider all of these valid suggestions before ignoring them entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel, meanwhile, has clearly been through something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have survived the first punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have witnessed several missed shots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may now be part of the official cock count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has opened a file and immediately regretted it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug is for anyone who understands that Bob missing a shot is not always failure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is warning fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is ballistic optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is advanced intimidation of nearby scenery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sometimes the chicken was never in danger from the bullet, only from what Bob decided to do next.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in one clean and deeply suspicious colour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot White\u003c\/strong\u003e is for Bellends who want their drinkware bright, their poultry battered, and their combat reports badly phrased.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf the chicken is still standing, the lore is not finished.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character with the text \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e, inspired by Bob’s ongoing reputation for missed shots, questionable survival choices, and bare-fisted chicken management.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sturdy white ceramic mug is built for coffee, tea, hot chocolate, emergency stream debriefs, poultry incident reviews, and quietly wondering why nobody used a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt has a glossy finish with a vivid print designed to withstand both the microwave and dishwasher, which is more than can be said for Bob’s aim, judgement, or the emotional state of the cockerel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, practical, and clean, according to the blank mug description, which has not yet been briefed on cock counts, missed rounds, or why Bob is chasing breakfast around a village.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot White\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign featuring a cartoon beat-up cockerel character\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes the text \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInspired by Bob’s bare-fisted chicken management lore\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite ceramic mug with glossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid print designed for everyday use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for Bob’s Bellends, poultry historians, missed shot analysts, and anyone who has ever asked what Bob is doing and immediately regretted it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMaterials\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCeramic, because even a battered cockerel deserves to be remembered on something sturdy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy finish, suitable for coffee, tea, and post-incident poultry reflection.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid print, strong enough to survive the dishwasher and several questionable explanations.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe, unlike the tactical thinking behind punching a chicken instead of using a knife.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from China.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.8″ in height, 3.2″ in diameter. Suitable for a normal coffee before the first shot misses.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.7″ in height, 3.3″ in diameter. Recommended for longer cock counts, confused chat questions, and waiting for Bob to reload emotionally.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.3″ in height, 3.7″ in diameter. Best for full Bellend-level debriefs, repeated poultry incidents, and accepting that the chicken may have won round one.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve aim.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not guarantee successful chicken preparation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not confirm that fists are an approved poultry harvesting tool.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e is not a tactical doctrine, hunting guide, food safety recommendation, combat manual, or legal defence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include ammunition, a knife, an axe, emergency feathers, spare dignity, poultry counselling, recoil control, or an explanation that will make the quote sound normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for missed shots, escaped chickens, damaged pride, confused viewers, bad phrasing, David laughing, Bob being certain, or chat immediately demanding a cock count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to hit chickens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to improve accuracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not ask the cockerel what happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel has seen enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob’s shots, we prefer things to be aimed at the correct destination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of mugs quietly wondering why Bob did not just use the knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the chicken told you to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐓 Bob Poultry Incident Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 Missed Shot Ceramic Evidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥊 Bare-Fisted Chicken Management Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📊 Official Cock Count Support Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Breakfast Combat Ware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause Bob does not simply miss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe creates warning fire for a chicken he then punches anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075088978255,"sku":"3525417_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075089011023,"sku":"3525417_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075089043791,"sku":"3525417_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a414385a2f8f.jpg?v=1782662054"},{"product_id":"white-glossy-mug","title":"LTA Private Island Compliance Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrivate Island Living. CCC Approved Never. Pig Concern Rising.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Travel Agency would like to make it clear that private island living was going extremely well until someone started reading the notice on the door.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore that, the island had everything a modern survivor could want.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWalls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eConfidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA door with paperwork on it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome roots doing the work of foundations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA roof situation best described as spiritually pending.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd one pig who had already realised this was going to end badly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency Private Island Compliance Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e celebrates the proud LTA attempt to revitalise private island living by building a base, attracting visitors, failing socially, hiding the consequences, and then inviting Cal’s Cool Construction Company over for an official inspection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis was, according to all available evidence, a mistake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal arrived with questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal found weeds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal found roots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCal found barbed wire placement choices that suggested the builders had confused safety standards with emotional damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe residents insisted everything was fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe pig did not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing the text \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eMaking Private Islands Great Again\u003c\/strong\u003e, this mug captures the exact moment tropical ambition becomes a formal investigation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is not just a mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a ceramic record of island-based denial.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA tribute to roofless confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA warning to future inspectors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd possibly the only witness the pig is willing to stand beside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe LTA position remains unchanged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe island was safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe foundations were natural.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe visitors left.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe sniper was not part of the package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd if several people ended the day with broken legs inside a damaged, non-compliant structure, that is not failure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is private island living with added lore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in one officially suspicious ceramic colour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrivate Island White\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who believes a worried pig, a tropical island, and a mug full of coffee are enough to survive an inspection by Cal’s Cool Construction Company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf the pig looks worried, the base is already condemned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Travel Agency Private Island Compliance Mug features a tropical island design with a worried-looking pig, the text \u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the slogan \u003cstrong\u003eMaking Private Islands Great Again\u003c\/strong\u003e, inspired by the LTA’s highly questionable approach to travel, tourism, construction, and crisis management.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sturdy ceramic mug is built for coffee, tea, emergency planning, post-inspection debriefs, and pretending the base is structurally sound while someone checks for splints.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt has a glossy finish with a vivid print designed to withstand both the microwave and dishwasher, which is more than can be said for most private island building standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, clean, and practical, according to the blank mug description, which has not yet been briefed on natural foundations, barbed wire placement, or why there are two fewer visitors than expected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003ePrivate Island White\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.8″ in height, 3.2″ in diameter. Suitable for a calm drink before the notice appears.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.7″ in height, 3.3″ in diameter. Recommended for active inspections, awkward questions, and pretending the roof is optional.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.3″ in height, 3.7″ in diameter. Best for full island crisis management, body hiding, splint searching, and pig reassurance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not guarantee private island approval.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve building safety standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not confirm the foundations are suitable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not mean Cal will pass the inspection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe roof may still be missing for cultural reasons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eMaking Private Islands Great Again\u003c\/strong\u003e is not a legally binding construction promise, safety certification, planning approval, inspection defence, or refund policy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include building permits, roofing materials, barbed wire guidance, natural foundation approval, spare splints, emergency rags, legal representation, pig counselling, or protection from unseen snipers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for failed inspections, suspicious visitors, damaged bases, minor skirmishes, tropical panic, David getting shot, Bob being certain, or anyone loudly insisting the island is still perfectly fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug as structural support.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not present this mug as evidence of compliance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not ask the pig what happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe LTA has already denied responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike the LTA, we try not to send things out without checking where they are supposed to be going.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of mugs quietly insisting they were meant to be on a different island.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the pig told you to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏝️ LTA Private Island Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐖 Worried Pig Incident Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🛠️ Construction Compliance Avoidance Ceramic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧭 Directionally Interpretive Tourism Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Island Inspection Wear, But For Coffee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLivonia Travel Agency Private Island Compliance Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause the LTA does not fail inspections.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt simply discovers new standards with confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075111424335,"sku":"9058684_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075111457103,"sku":"9058684_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075111489871,"sku":"9058684_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a414412041c2.jpg?v=1782662197"},{"product_id":"zombie-overwatch-1","title":"Zombie Overwatch Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor those who help by watching very carefully.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people fight zombies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people clear buildings, swing melee weapons, bleed repeatedly, and discover exactly how many infected were hiding behind the shed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob provides overwatch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eZombie Overwatch Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e celebrates one of Bob’s most important operational roles: sitting slightly back, holding a drink, watching another player do the difficult bit, and occasionally offering helpful tactical advice such as “careful” after the danger has already become obvious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not avoidance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not laziness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is tactical delegation, probably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for coffee, tea, suspicious field beverages, or whatever you drink while deciding whether that direction feels like Nadbor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz - Light Overwatch:\u003c\/strong\u003e For minor zombie incidents, brief tactical watching, and one sensible cup of tea.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz - Standard Tactical Delegation:\u003c\/strong\u003e The recommended field size for proper supervision while someone else does the dangerous bit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz - Full Bellend Field Command:\u003c\/strong\u003e For extended Zombie Overwatch, chat management, and long periods of thinking about which direction Nadbor feels like.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eOfficial Mug Dimensions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz mug:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.8″ tall, 3.2″ diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz mug:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.7″ tall, 3.3″ diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz mug:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.3″ tall, 3.7″ diameter\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal for observing problems from a safe distance\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUseful during chat interaction, zombie management, and suspicious village activity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with tactical silence and questionable contribution levels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExcellent for anyone who has ever said “I was watching your back” with confidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay improve morale while someone else deals with the infected\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug does not kill zombies, clear towns, provide actual overwatch, or prove that you helped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHolding this mug while another player is fighting infected may still count as emotional support, depending on who writes the field report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAny claims of active participation should be treated as unverified until reviewed by the LHS.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, prevents unnecessary mug stockpiles, and avoids creating another shed full of items nobody can explain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision, or at least a very lore-accurate one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🧟 Zombie Overwatch Approved Equipment\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e☕ Passive Support Beverage Holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e👀 Tactical Watching Accessory\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Field Supervision Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🧭 Nadbor Directional Thinking Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e🛡️ “I Was Watching Your Back” Certified\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075123253583,"sku":"2257288_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075123286351,"sku":"2257288_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075123319119,"sku":"2257288_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a41447a96330.jpg?v=1782662302"},{"product_id":"bob-coin-is-a-scam","title":"Bob Coin Is A Scam Tee","description":"\u003ch2\u003eBob Coin Is a Scam T-Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eAnti-Bob Coin Propaganda. Deeply Untrustworthy.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people believe in Bob Coin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people trust the Bank of Bellends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people look at an entirely fictitious currency backed by poor decisions, Tuesday arrears, shed-based economics, and suspicious confidence, then think:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eActually, this seems fine.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is not for those people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bob Coin Is a Scam T-Shirt is the direct opposite of the officially reassuring Bob Coin design. Instead of defending the coin, protecting the market, or respecting the delicate financial ecosystem of Bob’s Lore, it makes one outrageous claim:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Is a Scam.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA shocking statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA dangerous statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA statement the Bank of Bellends absolutely does not endorse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, why would you purchase a T-shirt with such lies printed on it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat sort of person walks around publicly questioning Bob Coin?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA sceptic?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA whistleblower?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA short seller?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomeone who has read the whitepaper and realised it only says “Trust me”?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever your reasons, this shirt exists for the doubters, the market heretics, the financially suspicious, and anyone brave enough to stand in a field and say what everyone else is definitely not thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob Coin is not a scam.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut this shirt says it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd that is legally, spiritually, and financially upsetting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 100% cotton unisex classic tee helps you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, keeps sharp lines around the edges, and works well with layered streetwear outfits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, bold, and ideal for anyone who enjoys making dangerous financial accusations with no supporting documentation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this shirt does not prove Bob Coin is a scam, mostly because Bob Coin is absolutely not a scam and the Bank of Bellends would like that recorded clearly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for angry investors, awkward questions, sudden audits, market instability, Tuesday retaliation, or Bob Coin holders pointing at your chest and shouting “lies” in public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePurchasing this shirt may result in reduced access to imaginary dividends, shed-based financial advice, and all future Bank of Bellends loyalty schemes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bank of Bellends has reviewed this design and described it as hurtful, inaccurate, and annoyingly wearable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob, we try not to wander into a field without a plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and the kind of poor logistical decisions usually reserved for Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🪙 Financial Slander Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bank of Bellends Disapproved\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📉 Market Heresy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🏚 Shed Economist Warning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob Coin Is a Scam T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently some people enjoy buying shirts covered in dangerous misinformation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":58075210711375,"sku":"6351807_11546","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":58075210744143,"sku":"6351807_11547","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":58075210776911,"sku":"6351807_11548","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":58075210809679,"sku":"6351807_11549","price":1301.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":58075210842447,"sku":"6351807_11550","price":17.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":58075210875215,"sku":"6351807_12644","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":58075210907983,"sku":"6351807_12645","price":22.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":58075210940751,"sku":"6351807_12646","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-black-front-6a5d183046c3a.jpg?v=1784485944"},{"product_id":"not-a-scam","title":"Bob Coin is Not a Scam Tee","description":"\u003ch3\u003eMinimal Design. 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