{"product_id":"bears","title":"No One Told Me About the Fucking Bears Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial fieldwear for entering PUBG, landing on Vikendi, and discovering the wildlife policy far too late.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome T-shirts celebrate victory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one commemorates being removed from the match by a bear with better local knowledge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eNo One Told Me About the Fucking Bears T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e honours the now infamous PUBG expedition where Bob landed on Vikendi armed with an SKS, a holo sight, no vehicle, and absolutely no meaningful bear briefing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not DayZ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not Chernarus.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not even a sensible rotation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut Bob’s Lore followed him through the loading screen anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eBear Country Black\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eSpiritually Underprepared Grey\u003c\/strong\u003e, this tee is perfect for battle royale failures, wildlife debriefs, and anyone who believes the phrase “surely this area is safe” immediately before it is not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColour Options\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBear Country Black:\u003c\/strong\u003e For blending into poor decisions, suspicious tree lines, and the exact area nobody told Bob to avoid.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSpiritually Underprepared Grey:\u003c\/strong\u003e For those moments when you technically have a gun, but the bear has bear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Bob entering bear country with an SKS and a holo sight, this decision is considered sensible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFinal Archive Note\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Vikendi Bear Incident proves that Bob’s Lore is not attached to a map, server, genre, or game engine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is attached to Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can remove Bob from DayZ. You can put him in PUBG. You can drop him from a plane, give him snow, loot, a shrinking circle, and the promise of chicken.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut if there is wildlife nearby, no vehicle available, and nobody has explained the danger properly, the outcome remains inevitable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Bears not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo one told him about the fucking bears.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob went hungry. No chicken dinner.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐻 Vikendi Bear Incident Approved Fieldwear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🍗 No Chicken Dinner Commemorative Tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔵 Blue Zone Panic Rotation Uniform\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧭 Directionally Optimistic PUBG Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 SKS With Holo Sight Confidence Garment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🚗 No Vehicle Found Survival Layer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Pairs Well With the Bear Incident Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Wildlife Awareness Equipment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ S","offer_id":58073681494351,"sku":"1246431_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ M","offer_id":58073681527119,"sku":"1246431_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ L","offer_id":58073681559887,"sku":"1246431_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ XL","offer_id":58073681592655,"sku":"1246431_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":58073681625423,"sku":"1246431_11550","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":58073681658191,"sku":"1246431_12644","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":58073681690959,"sku":"1246431_12645","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bear Country Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":58073681723727,"sku":"1246431_12646","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spiritually Underprepared Grey \/ S","offer_id":58073681756495,"sku":"1246431_15843","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spiritually Underprepared Grey \/ M","offer_id":58073681789263,"sku":"1246431_15844","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spiritually Underprepared Grey \/ L","offer_id":58073681822031,"sku":"1246431_15845","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spiritually Underprepared Grey \/ XL","offer_id":58073681854799,"sku":"1246431_15846","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spiritually Underprepared Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":58073681887567,"sku":"1246431_15847","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spiritually Underprepared Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":58073681920335,"sku":"1246431_15848","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-black-front-and-back-6a5d0df277241.jpg?v=1784483326","url":"https:\/\/onlybobs.shop\/products\/bears","provider":"Bobs Merch Store ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}