{"product_id":"beating-cocks-missing-shots","title":"Beating Cocks \u0026 Missing Shots Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGrey or Black Tee. Beat-Up Cockerel. Aim Still Questionable.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome T-shirts make a bold statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one makes a legally difficult poultry-based confession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e celebrates one of Bob’s finest accidental field reports, delivered after someone asked the very dangerous question:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“What you up to?”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob replied:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Beating cocks and missing shots.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd just like that, the LHS had to open another file.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis T-shirt features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character alongside the now culturally significant phrase, capturing Bob at his most Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArmed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHungry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDistracted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSurrounded by better tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd still choosing to resolve a chicken situation with his bare hands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost survivors would see a chicken and use a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome might use an axe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA few might use a gun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob appears to consider all available survival methods before selecting the oldest and least efficient option:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePunching breakfast until morale improves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel on this shirt has clearly been through something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have survived the first hit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have dodged several shots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may now be the reason a cock count exists.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody can confirm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChat was laughing too hard to take proper notes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who understands that Bob missing a shot does not automatically mean failure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is warning fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is ballistic optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is advanced intimidation of nearby scenery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sometimes it is simply the opening act before Bob starts chasing a chicken around a village like the apocalypse has become personal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in two officially questionable colours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot Black\u003c\/strong\u003e is for Bellends who prefer their poultry incidents dark, dramatic, and difficult to explain in public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCockerel Grey\u003c\/strong\u003e is for those who want a softer, village-after-the-incident look, ideal for standing near evidence and denying involvement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf the chicken is still standing, the lore is not finished.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character with the text \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e, inspired by Bob’s ongoing reputation for missed shots, questionable survival choices, and bare-fisted chicken management.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis unisex classic tee has a structured fit that sits nicely, keeps sharp lines around the edges, and works well with layered streetwear outfits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is comfortable enough for everyday wear, strong enough for lore-based public explanation, and suitable for anyone who has ever watched Bob make a simple food situation worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe tee has a clean classic shape, taped neck and shoulders, and double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem, making it far more structurally reliable than Bob’s poultry combat strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot Black\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eCockerel Grey\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eColour Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot Black:\u003c\/strong\u003e For serious Bellends, dramatic chicken incidents, and pretending the bullet was meant for the scenery.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCockerel Grey:\u003c\/strong\u003e For softer denial, post-incident wandering, and standing near feathers while insisting everything is under control.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this T-shirt does not improve aim.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this T-shirt does not improve judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this T-shirt does not guarantee successful chicken preparation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this T-shirt does not confirm that fists are an approved poultry harvesting tool.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e is not a tactical doctrine, hunting guide, food safety recommendation, combat manual, or legal defence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include ammunition, a knife, an axe, emergency feathers, spare dignity, poultry counselling, recoil control, or an explanation that will make the quote sound normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for missed shots, escaped chickens, damaged pride, confused viewers, bad phrasing, David laughing, Bob being certain, or chat immediately demanding a cock count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDue to fabric properties, colour appearance may vary slightly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not wear this shirt as evidence that you know what you are doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel disagrees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob’s shots, we prefer things to be aimed at the correct destination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of shirts quietly wondering why Bob did not just use the knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the chicken told you to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐓 Bob Poultry Incident Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 Missed Shot Evidence Wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥊 Bare-Fisted Chicken Management Tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📊 Official Cock Count Support Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Breakfast Combat Clothing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause Bob does not simply miss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe creates warning fire for a chicken he then punches anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Missed Shot Black \/ S","offer_id":58065675485519,"sku":"3981983_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Missed Shot Black \/ 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