{"product_id":"cocks","title":"Beating Cocks \u0026 Missing Shots Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhite Mug. Beat-Up Cockerel. Aim Still Under Review.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs are made for peaceful mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not one of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e exists to honour one of Bob’s finest accidental field reports, delivered when someone made the mistake of asking what he was up to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob’s reply was simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Beating cocks and missing shots.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo further explanation was needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, Bob’s Lore does not work like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis white ceramic mug features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character alongside the now historically concerning phrase, capturing Bob in one of his purest survival states.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArmed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHungry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDistracted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSurrounded by better options.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd still choosing to settle poultry disputes with his bare hands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost survivors, when faced with a chicken, might use a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr an axe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr a gun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr basic sense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBob appears to consider all of these valid suggestions before ignoring them entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel, meanwhile, has clearly been through something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have survived the first punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may have witnessed several missed shots.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt may now be part of the official cock count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has opened a file and immediately regretted it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis mug is for anyone who understands that Bob missing a shot is not always failure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is warning fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is ballistic optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes it is advanced intimidation of nearby scenery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sometimes the chicken was never in danger from the bullet, only from what Bob decided to do next.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in one clean and deeply suspicious colour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot White\u003c\/strong\u003e is for Bellends who want their drinkware bright, their poultry battered, and their combat reports badly phrased.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf the chicken is still standing, the lore is not finished.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character with the text \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e, inspired by Bob’s ongoing reputation for missed shots, questionable survival choices, and bare-fisted chicken management.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sturdy white ceramic mug is built for coffee, tea, hot chocolate, emergency stream debriefs, poultry incident reviews, and quietly wondering why nobody used a knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt has a glossy finish with a vivid print designed to withstand both the microwave and dishwasher, which is more than can be said for Bob’s aim, judgement, or the emotional state of the cockerel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfortable, practical, and clean, according to the blank mug description, which has not yet been briefed on cock counts, missed rounds, or why Bob is chasing breakfast around a village.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eMissed Shot White\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign featuring a cartoon beat-up cockerel character\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes the text \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInspired by Bob’s bare-fisted chicken management lore\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite ceramic mug with glossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid print designed for everyday use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDishwasher safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for Bob’s Bellends, poultry historians, missed shot analysts, and anyone who has ever asked what Bob is doing and immediately regretted it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMaterials\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCeramic, because even a battered cockerel deserves to be remembered on something sturdy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy finish, suitable for coffee, tea, and post-incident poultry reflection.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVivid print, strong enough to survive the dishwasher and several questionable explanations.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMicrowave safe, unlike the tactical thinking behind punching a chicken instead of using a knife.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from China.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.8″ in height, 3.2″ in diameter. Suitable for a normal coffee before the first shot misses.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e15 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.7″ in height, 3.3″ in diameter. Recommended for longer cock counts, confused chat questions, and waiting for Bob to reload emotionally.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.3″ in height, 3.7″ in diameter. Best for full Bellend-level debriefs, repeated poultry incidents, and accepting that the chicken may have won round one.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve aim.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not improve judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not guarantee successful chicken preparation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsing this mug does not confirm that fists are an approved poultry harvesting tool.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots\u003c\/strong\u003e is not a tactical doctrine, hunting guide, food safety recommendation, combat manual, or legal defence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include ammunition, a knife, an axe, emergency feathers, spare dignity, poultry counselling, recoil control, or an explanation that will make the quote sound normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for missed shots, escaped chickens, damaged pride, confused viewers, bad phrasing, David laughing, Bob being certain, or chat immediately demanding a cock count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to hit chickens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use this mug to improve accuracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not ask the cockerel what happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cockerel has seen enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob’s shots, we prefer things to be aimed at the correct destination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of mugs quietly wondering why Bob did not just use the knife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven if the chicken told you to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐓 Bob Poultry Incident Drinkware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 Missed Shot Ceramic Evidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥊 Bare-Fisted Chicken Management Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📊 Official Cock Count Support Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Breakfast Combat Ware\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBeating Cocks and Missing Shots Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause Bob does not simply miss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe creates warning fire for a chicken he then punches anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075088978255,"sku":"3525417_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075089011023,"sku":"3525417_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075089043791,"sku":"3525417_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a414385a2f8f.jpg?v=1782662054","url":"https:\/\/onlybobs.shop\/products\/cocks","provider":"Bobs Merch Store ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}