{"product_id":"dont-bob-embroidery-unisex-hoodie","title":"DONT BOB Embroidery Hoodie","description":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCold. Hungry. Bleeding. Nearly Dead. Still Running Towards Trouble.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSurvival in DayZ is a delicate balance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou need food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou need water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou need warmth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou need blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd, ideally, you need enough health remaining to continue being alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThese are the fundamentals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe basic requirements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe things that separate a successful survivor from a rapidly cooling corpse lying somewhere outside a shed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob is aware of these requirements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProbably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHE JUST HAS OTHER PRIORITIES.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere might be something interesting over that hill.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere might be somebody to talk to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere might be an unexplored building.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere might be a suspicious noise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere might be an opportunity to make a spectacularly poor decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd all of these things are apparently more urgent than eating an apple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWELCOME TO THE DONT BOB SURVIVAL PHILOSOPHY.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA simple community warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAn important life lesson.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd a reminder that if you're about to do something spectacularly stupid, you should probably consider what Bob would do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThen do something else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FIVE BASIC REQUIREMENTS OF SURVIVAL.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDayZ is unusually helpful when it comes to explaining why you're dying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe game provides a collection of status indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLittle symbols.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUseful warnings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eClear visual representations of your increasingly unfortunate physical condition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor most players, these indicators provide valuable information.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're cold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFind somewhere warm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're hungry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFind something to eat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're thirsty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFind some water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou're losing blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAddress the bleeding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYour health is dangerously low.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps avoid doing anything unnecessarily adventurous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBOB HAS DEVELOPED A DIFFERENT INTERPRETATION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCold?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProbably fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHungry?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFood later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThirsty?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere's bound to be water somewhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLow blood?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBest not to think about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLow health?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eExcellent time to investigate that suspicious building.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed this approach.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts findings are concerning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE HUD IS NOT DECORATIVE, BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE GREAT BOB SURVIVAL ASSESSMENT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThrough extensive observation, the wider community has identified a recurring pattern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob begins an adventure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe has a destination.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe has a plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may even have a reasonably clear idea of where he is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEverything looks promising.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThen somebody notices the food indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt's red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomebody mentions that Bob should eat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob acknowledges the suggestion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThen continues running.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA little later, somebody notices the water indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAlso red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eChat suggests finding a well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob agrees that water would be a good idea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThen investigates something else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps a shed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps a vehicle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps a distant figure who may or may not be friendly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMeanwhile, the status indicators continue quietly explaining that the situation is becoming considerably less sustainable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFOOD: URGENT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWATER: URGENT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEALTH: CONCERNING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBOB: \"WE'LL BE FINE.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society considers this an extraordinary level of confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eParticularly from somebody whose immediate survival prospects are currently being represented by several red pictures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE PROBLEM WITH GETTING DISTRACTED.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOf course, Bob does not generally set out to neglect his basic survival requirements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe simply becomes involved in other things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eInteresting things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eImportant things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThings that probably seemed like a good idea at the time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may decide to investigate a noise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may become interested in a building.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may spot another survivor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may suddenly remember somewhere he intended to visit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may find himself involved in a conversation that escalates into a completely unnecessary confrontation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd by the time the situation has finished, he is cold, hungry, thirsty and missing a worrying quantity of blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut at least something interesting happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHICH IS APPARENTLY THE IMPORTANT PART.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe LHS has attempted to establish whether Bob follows a formal system of survival priorities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts investigation produced the following provisional order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e1. Interesting noise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e2. Suspicious building.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e3. Potential conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e4. Something that might become lore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e5. Food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e6. Water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e7. Medical attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e8. Remembering that food, water and medical attention should probably have been higher on the list.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis assessment has not been formally approved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob was unavailable for comment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe was apparently running somewhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE ELK INTERVENTION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEventually, the situation became sufficiently recognisable that it developed into a warning beyond Bob's own stream.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOver on Elk's stream, a command appeared.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e!dontbob\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd with it came a beautifully simple message delivered by StreamElements:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"About to do something you'll regret? Before you do, remember to do what Bob doesn't!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA public service announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA small piece of survival wisdom born from watching somebody repeatedly demonstrate why certain decisions should probably be reconsidered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBecause the lesson is not necessarily to avoid everything Bob does.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThat would eliminate a considerable amount of entertainment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe lesson is to remember the things Bob occasionally forgets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDrink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStay warm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDeal with your injuries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd perhaps consider your survival prospects before running towards the next completely unnecessary problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIN SHORT: DONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society considers this one of the most concise pieces of public safety advice ever produced by the community.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo words.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFive status indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire history of preventable survival emergencies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE OFFICIAL PRE-ADVENTURE CHECKLIST.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBefore leaving a safe location, the Society recommends a simple assessment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAre you warm?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHave you eaten?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHave you had something to drink?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAre you bleeding?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo you have enough health to survive whatever questionable decision you're about to make?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFive questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFive opportunities to avoid an entirely preventable disaster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd five things that should ideally be considered before announcing that you're going to investigate the suspicious gunfire in the distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, the checklist has one important weakness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt requires somebody to actually use it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBOB HAS NOT CONFIRMED THAT HE WILL.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFurther training may be required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE MEDICAL INDICATOR COLLECTION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich brings us to the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAt first glance, it's a neat little piece of gaming merchandise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTwo simple words.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd underneath them, five familiar DayZ-inspired survival indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA blue temperature symbol.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA red food indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA red hydration indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA red blood indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd a red health indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo the uninitiated, they may appear to be a collection of small decorative icons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo a DayZ player, they communicate something considerably more alarming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS PERSON IS HAVING A VERY BAD DAY.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStarving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDehydrated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLow on blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLow on health.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd still apparently interested in seeing what's happening over the next hill.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society considers the design a remarkably accurate summary of Bob's survival philosophy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is also an effective reminder to anybody who has ever ignored their own status indicators while becoming unnecessarily distracted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome of us simply remember to eat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE EMBROIDERED WARNING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike the larger illustrated designs in the Bobes Lore collection, this hoodie takes a more understated approach.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB\u003c\/strong\u003e wording and survival symbols form a small embroidered design on the upper front chest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eClean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRecognisable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd surprisingly subtle for a warning that effectively translates to:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo another DayZ player, the meaning should be immediately familiar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo a Bellend, it carries the additional significance of Bob's remarkable ability to turn simple survival requirements into optional suggestions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo somebody unfamiliar with the game, it may look like an unusual little logo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich is fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThey do not necessarily need to know that the design represents somebody running around half-starved while confidently explaining why the next questionable decision will probably work out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnless they ask.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIn which case, the Livonia Historical Society recommends making a drink first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd perhaps eating something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE HOODIE ITSELF.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe classic unisex fit and soft fleece interior provide comfortable everyday warmth, making it ideal for gaming sessions, casual outings and watching Bob attempt to survive while treating his basic medical requirements as optional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe double-lined hood provides additional warmth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich is particularly appropriate for a design that features a blue temperature indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe front pouch pocket is useful for keeping your hands warm and carrying everyday essentials.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eKeys.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePhone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSnacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps a bottle of water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd ideally something to eat before your own personal survival indicators start turning red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e, the small white lettering and coloured embroidered symbols create a clean, recognisable front design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Bellends, DayZ survivors, Elk's community, Bob's regular viewers and anyone who has ever watched somebody make an avoidable mistake while shouting advice at their screen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FINAL SURVIVAL ASSESSMENT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome lessons are learned through experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome are learned through careful observation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSome are learned by listening to good advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd some are learned by watching Bob repeatedly demonstrate what happens when you ignore food, water, temperature, blood and health in favour of doing something completely unnecessary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe community has observed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eElk has a command.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the conclusion is beautifully simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEat something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDrink some water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStay warm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStop bleeding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd perhaps consider whether investigating that suspicious noise is really worth your remaining six points of health.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause surviving the apocalypse is considerably easier when you remember the surviving part.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis classic unisex hoodie features a small \u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB\u003c\/strong\u003e embroidered design on the upper front chest, inspired by Bob's famously questionable approach to DayZ survival.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design combines white lettering with five DayZ-inspired status indicators: blue temperature, red food, red hydration, red blood and red health.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt celebrates Bob's tendency to run around cold, hungry, thirsty, injured and perilously close to death while continuing to investigate whatever unfortunate situation has caught his attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design also references Elk's stream command \u003cstrong\u003e!dontbob\u003c\/strong\u003e, which reminds viewers to do what Bob doesn't before making a decision they'll regret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe classic unisex fit and soft fleece interior provide comfortable everyday wear, while the double-lined hood offers additional warmth during cooler weather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe front pouch pocket provides convenient storage for everyday essentials, although the Society recommends carrying actual food and water rather than relying exclusively on optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePictured in \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e with a small embroidered chest design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Bellends, DayZ enthusiasts, Elk's community, survival game fans and anyone who understands that maintaining your basic needs is generally preferable to becoming another historical incident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurvival advice included. Actual survival competence not guaranteed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this hoodie does not automatically improve your survival skills.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not provide food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not provide drinking water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not increase your body temperature beyond the ordinary warmth provided by the garment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not restore blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not regenerate health.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it certainly does not guarantee that Bob will remember to eat before running towards another completely avoidable problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe embroidered survival indicators are decorative gaming-inspired artwork and do not monitor the wearer's actual physical condition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe blue temperature symbol is not a functioning thermometer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe red food symbol does not contain emergency calories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe red hydration symbol does not provide drinking water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe blood indicator is not a medical device.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the health indicator cannot determine whether you're about to make a spectacularly poor decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB\u003c\/strong\u003e is a community joke and should not be interpreted as professional medical advice, survival training or a guarantee that following Bob's example will always result in disaster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include food, water, bandages, saline, blood bags, medical equipment, temperature monitoring, emergency survival supplies, successful navigation or protection against unexpected Tuesdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe soft fleece interior provides warmth, not immunity from exposure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe double-lined hood does not replace appropriate weather protection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe front pouch pocket is not an emergency medical kit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for ignored status indicators, preventable freshie deaths, questionable survival decisions, unnecessary confrontations, missed meals or anyone shouting \u003cstrong\u003e\"DONT BOB\"\u003c\/strong\u003e at complete strangers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDue to fabric properties, a White colour variant, if offered, may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the hoodie as a substitute for proper protective clothing in hazardous conditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not attempt to treat the embroidered blood symbol as an actual blood supply.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not assume that wearing the design means you are qualified to provide survival instruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd most importantly, do not ignore genuine signs of hunger, dehydration, illness or injury simply because Bob occasionally appears to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRemember the command.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRemember the warning.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Bob's survival planning, which may involve leaving several important requirements until the situation has become unnecessarily urgent, each hoodie is produced on demand through an established manufacturing process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis means production and delivery may take a little longer, but it helps reduce overproduction, unwanted stock and warehouses filled with survival warnings that nobody has remembered to read.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the arrangement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYour hoodie will be manufactured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design will be embroidered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe survival warnings will remain visible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd Bob's next meal remains entirely his own responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩺 Official DONT BOB Survival Warning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧵 Small Front-Chest Embroidery\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥶 Temperature Management Failure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🍎 Food Procurement Negligence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e💧 Hydration Requirements Ignored\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩸 Blood Loss Observation Programme\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e❤️ Critical Health Decision-Making\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📢 Elk's !dontbob Public Service Announcement\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📜 Livonia Historical Society Survival Archive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Basic Needs First. Questionable Adventures Later.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFive warning signs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne increasingly concerning survivor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire community that has learned the importance of checking its status indicators by watching somebody else ignore them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo what Bob doesn't.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eContext provided. 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