{"product_id":"dont-bob-unisex-classic-tee","title":"DONT BOB Classic Tee","description":"\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFive Warning Signs. Zero Preparation. One Bob Who Thinks Everything Is Fine.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSurviving in DayZ requires several important skills.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFinding food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFinding water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStaying warm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTreating injuries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd perhaps most importantly, recognising when your character is about to die.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFortunately, the game provides a collection of very helpful indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eClear little symbols.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eConveniently displayed on the screen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned to tell you when something has gone horribly wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, Bob appears to have mistaken these for decorative features.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE HUD IS NOT OPTIONAL, BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe apple is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe water is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe blood is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe health is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe temperature is blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd Bob has just announced that he's going to investigate something suspicious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently, there's still time for one more adventure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS IS WHY WE HAVE DONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE ART OF NOT SURVIVING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMost DayZ players begin their adventures with a relatively straightforward objective.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStay alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFind supplies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eImprove their equipment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd avoid unnecessary situations that might result in losing everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob has developed a more adventurous interpretation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe has somewhere to go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe has something to investigate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may have heard a suspicious noise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe may have spotted another survivor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr he may simply have decided that running across several kilometres of countryside without sufficient food or water sounds like a perfectly reasonable afternoon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever the reason, the journey has begun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePREPARATION CAN HAPPEN LATER.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, the basic requirements of survival do not share this enthusiasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHunger continues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThirst continues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCold becomes increasingly unpleasant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eInjuries remain injuries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd health has an unfortunate habit of reaching zero when neglected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has studied this phenomenon extensively.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIts conclusion is simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBOB HAS A REMARKABLE ABILITY TO MAKE SURVIVAL MORE COMPLICATED THAN NECESSARY.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FIVE INDICATORS OF DOOM.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society has identified five warning signs commonly associated with the DONT BOB phenomenon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEach represents an important survival requirement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEach provides clear information.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd each has apparently been ignored at some point because Bob was busy doing something more interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eONE: THE BLUE THERMOMETER.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob is cold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis might suggest that he needs shelter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWarmer clothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr perhaps to stop standing around in the rain discussing something completely unrelated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAll sensible suggestions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, there's a building over there that he hasn't checked yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE TEMPERATURE PROBLEM WILL HAVE TO WAIT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTWO: THE RED APPLE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob is hungry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot peckish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot considering a light snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProperly hungry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe sort of hungry that suggests his character should probably find something edible before attempting another lengthy expedition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eChat has noticed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eChat has mentioned it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral times.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob has acknowledged the situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe will find food shortly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProbably in the next town.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOr perhaps the town after that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, the apple is not impressed by promises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE APPLE REMAINS RED.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHREE: THE RED WATER INDICATOR.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDehydration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnother entirely avoidable problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDayZ contains wells.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWater bottles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCanteens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral methods of obtaining the basic liquid required to remain alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob is aware of these.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYet somehow, water continues to become a recurring emergency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps he passed a well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps he forgot to fill his container.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps he became distracted by somebody talking in the distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever happened, the water indicator is now red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd Bob has decided that investigating the next building is more important.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE HYDRATION DEPARTMENT HAS REQUESTED AN URGENT MEETING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob is unavailable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe is running somewhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFOUR: THE RED BLOOD INDICATOR.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAt some point during the adventure, things have become violent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps infected were involved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps another survivor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps Bob found himself in the middle of a situation that sensible people would have avoided.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever the circumstances, his blood level is now dangerously concerning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor most survivors, this would be a strong indication to stop, recover and reconsider their immediate priorities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob, however, has just spotted another interesting opportunity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE BLOOD LOSS CAN WAIT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAccording to Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe blood indicator strongly disagrees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFIVE: THE RED HEALTH SYMBOL.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe final warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe ultimate indication that the situation has become deeply unfortunate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHealth is critically low.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFood is desperately needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWater would be helpful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWarmth is becoming important.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd further unnecessary confrontations would be an exceptionally poor idea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSurely this is the moment to stop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFind somewhere safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRegroup.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRecover.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd avoid doing anything remotely adventurous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, Bob has just said:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE A LOOK.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society considers this an immediate cause for concern.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE RED HEALTH ICON IS NOT A SUGGESTION.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne that Bob has apparently decided to investigate later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE ELK PUBLIC SAFETY INITIATIVE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEventually, Bob's remarkable approach to survival became sufficiently recognisable that it developed into a community warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOver on Elk's stream, a command appeared.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e!dontbob\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA short instruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA simple reminder.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd one of the most useful lessons ever learned from watching somebody repeatedly make questionable decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhen the command is triggered, StreamElements delivers the following message:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"About to do something you'll regret? Before you do, remember to do what Bob doesn't!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBeautiful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eConcise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd surprisingly practical.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes the best way to understand what you should do is to consider what Bob would forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHas Bob eaten?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProbably not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHave you eaten?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eExcellent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHas Bob found water?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNot necessarily.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHave you?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWonderful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHas Bob stopped to address his injuries?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePossibly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAfter several reminders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd after becoming involved in something else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDO WHAT BOB DOESN'T.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society considers this a significant improvement over the traditional approach of simply shouting survival advice at the stream and hoping it gets noticed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNow the entire warning has been condensed into two words.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE OFFICIAL LHS SURVIVAL PROCEDURE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor the benefit of future survivors, the Society has prepared a simple checklist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBefore beginning any expedition, ask yourself the following:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAm I cold?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAm I hungry?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAm I thirsty?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAm I bleeding?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAm I dangerously low on health?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIf the answer to any of these questions is yes, perhaps address the situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBefore heading into the wilderness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBefore investigating suspicious noises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBefore approaching armed strangers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBefore deciding that the next town will probably contain everything you need.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd definitely before announcing that everything is fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society believes this procedure could prevent a considerable number of unnecessary deaths.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, it requires somebody to actually follow the instructions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBOB HAS NOT YET CONFIRMED COMPLIANCE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe was last seen running towards something interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE WARNING BECOMES A UNIFORM.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhich brings us to the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAcross the upper front sits a bold white message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBeneath it, five familiar DayZ-inspired status indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA blue thermometer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA red apple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA red hydration symbol.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eA red blood indicator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd a red health cross.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFive little pictures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne extremely worrying survival assessment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo another DayZ player, the icons are immediately recognisable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStarving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDehydrated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLow blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLow health.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS PERSON IS NOT DOING WELL.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eTo a Bellend, however, the message is more specific.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt's Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRunning around half-starved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eLooking for water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eProbably injured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWith several indicators providing increasingly urgent warnings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd absolutely convinced that the next questionable decision will somehow improve the situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FIVE ICONS OF UNDESERVED OPTIMISM.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently, confidence is the only thing Bob never runs out of.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE ART OF WEARING A WARNING.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThere is something wonderfully appropriate about turning a survival warning into a T-shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eNormally, safety advice appears on signs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePosters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eInstruction manuals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOfficial notices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps a helpful message displayed somewhere obvious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBut within Bob's community, the warning has become clothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomething you can wear to the pub.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomething you can wear while gaming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eSomething you can wear while watching Bob make another entirely avoidable mistake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd something that allows other DayZ players to recognise immediately that you understand the importance of not treating your survival indicators as optional decoration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE HUD HAS BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWhether Bob will ever do the same remains uncertain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE CLASSIC SURVIVOR'S T-SHIRT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe structured classic unisex fit makes this an easy everyday option, with a clean shape that works well on its own or layered beneath a hoodie or jacket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe bold white lettering and colourful survival indicators stand out against the pictured Black fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eRecognisable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sufficiently direct that even somebody who has never heard of Bob can appreciate that it probably represents a warning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOf course, explaining the warning is another matter entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYou may need to introduce Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eExplain DayZ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDescribe the survival indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDiscuss the recurring food emergencies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eExplain Elk's command.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd eventually clarify why an entire gaggle of Bellends considers the phrase DONT BOB a perfectly reasonable piece of life advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBy which point, the person who asked may have gone home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Society recommends the short explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"He's very bad at remembering to eat.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMost people will understand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FINAL SURVIVAL REPORT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFive warning signs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne increasingly concerning survivor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne community command.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire historical record of completely avoidable survival emergencies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe temperature is blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe apple is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe water is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe blood is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe health is red.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd Bob has just announced that he's heading towards something interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society strongly recommends against this course of action.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eBob has not acknowledged the recommendation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe is already running.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eEat something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDrink some water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eStay warm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDeal with your injuries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd perhaps stop treating the basic requirements of staying alive as optional side quests.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo what Bob doesn't.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis classic unisex T-shirt features a bold \u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB\u003c\/strong\u003e front print, combining large white lettering with five coloured DayZ-inspired survival indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe symbols represent temperature, food, hydration, blood and health, celebrating Bob's famously questionable approach to maintaining his character's basic needs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe design draws inspiration from Bob's tendency to continue adventuring while cold, hungry, thirsty, injured and dangerously low on health, together with Elk's \u003cstrong\u003e!dontbob\u003c\/strong\u003e stream command.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe classic fit gives the T-shirt a comfortable, structured appearance that works well on its own or layered with casual streetwear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe pictured \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e garment provides a striking background for the white lettering and blue and red survival indicators.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Bellends, DayZ enthusiasts, Elk's community, survival gaming fans and anyone who understands that eating and drinking before nearly dying is generally a sound strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFive icons. One warning. Absolutely no survival guarantees.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWearing this T-shirt does not automatically improve your survival skills.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not provide food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not provide drinking water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not restore blood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not regenerate health.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt does not prevent hypothermia.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it certainly does not guarantee that Bob will remember to eat before running towards another completely avoidable problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe printed survival indicators are decorative gaming-inspired artwork and do not monitor the wearer's physical condition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe blue thermometer is not a working temperature sensor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe red apple does not contain emergency calories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe hydration indicator does not dispense drinking water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe blood indicator is not a medical device.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd the health cross cannot determine whether you're about to make a spectacularly poor decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB\u003c\/strong\u003e is a community joke and should not be interpreted as professional medical advice, survival training or a guarantee that following Bob's example will always result in disaster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product does not include food, water, bandages, medical supplies, blood bags, saline, emergency equipment, successful navigation or protection against unexpected Tuesdays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe cotton fabric provides comfort, not protection against severe weather, infected attacks or questionable survival decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe manufacturer accepts no responsibility for ignored status indicators, preventable freshie deaths, unnecessary confrontations, missed meals or anybody shouting \u003cstrong\u003e\"DONT BOB\"\u003c\/strong\u003e at complete strangers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDue to fabric properties, a White colour variant, if offered, may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDark speckles are normal for the Natural colour variant, if offered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe supplier is transitioning to single collar topstitching, so some orders may contain the previous double-topstitched collar finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not use the T-shirt as a substitute for appropriate protective clothing in hazardous conditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not attempt to treat the printed blood or health icons with actual medical supplies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDo not assume that wearing this design qualifies you to provide survival training.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd do not ignore genuine hunger, dehydration, illness or injury simply because Bob occasionally appears to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe indicators are decorative.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe warning is cultural.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe responsibility to remain alive is still yours.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Bob's survival preparation, which occasionally appears to begin only after several indicators have turned red, each T-shirt is manufactured on demand rather than produced in unnecessary quantities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis may mean a little more production time, but it helps reduce overproduction, unwanted stock and warehouses filled with survival warnings that nobody has remembered to read.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand rather than in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the arrangement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eYour T-shirt will be manufactured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe warning will be printed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe five survival indicators will remain visible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd Bob's next meal remains entirely his own responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩺 DONT BOB Survival Warning Apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🎨 Large Front Print Edition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🥶 Temperature Management Failure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🍎 Food Procurement Negligence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e💧 Hydration Requirements Ignored\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🩸 Blood Loss Observation Programme\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e❤️ Critical Health Decision-Making\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📢 Elk's !dontbob Public Service Announcement\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e📜 Livonia Historical Society Survival Archive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Basic Needs First. Questionable Adventures Later.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDONT BOB.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFive warnings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOne terrible example.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd an entire community that has learned the importance of basic survival by watching somebody else repeatedly ignore it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo what Bob doesn't.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eContext provided. 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