{"product_id":"no-one-told-me-about-the-fucking-bears-mug","title":"No One Told Me About the Fucking Bears Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial drinkware for anyone who entered Vikendi under-informed, under-vehicled, and spiritually unprepared.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome mugs celebrate victory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one commemorates a very specific failure to achieve chicken dinner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eNo One Told Me About the Fucking Bears Mug\u003c\/strong\u003e honours the now infamous PUBG expedition where Bob, armed with an SKS, a holo sight, no vehicle, and absolutely no meaningful bear policy, wandered slightly too close to where the bears live.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not DayZ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not Chernarus.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was not even a sensible rotation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut Bob’s Lore followed him through the loading screen anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on a sturdy white ceramic mug, this phrase captures the exact moment battle royale confidence met local Vikendi wildlife and lost badly. Perfect for coffee, tea, survival juice, or whatever you drink while pretending the bear situation was someone else’s fault.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial LHS sizing note:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bigger mugs do not improve bear awareness, vehicle availability, or chicken dinner probability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike Bob entering bear country, this decision is considered sensible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFinal Archive Note\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Vikendi Bear Incident proves that Bob’s Lore is not attached to a map, server, genre, or game engine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is attached to Bob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can remove Bob from DayZ. You can put him in PUBG. You can drop him from a plane, give him snow, loot, a shrinking circle, and the promise of chicken.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut if there is wildlife nearby, no vehicle available, and nobody has explained the danger properly, the outcome remains inevitable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Bears not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo one told him about the fucking bears.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBob went hungry. No chicken dinner.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🐻 Vikendi Bear Incident Approved Equipment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e☕ Cross-Game Survival Beverage Holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🍗 No Chicken Dinner Commemorative Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔵 Blue Zone Emotional Support Vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🧭 Directionally Optimistic PUBG Rotation Cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔫 SKS With Holo Sight Coping Accessory\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🚗 No Vehicle Found Field Hydration Unit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔔 Bellend Wildlife Awareness Mug\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":58075074560335,"sku":"6125272_1320","price":9.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":58075074593103,"sku":"6125272_4830","price":12.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":58075074625871,"sku":"6125272_16586","price":14.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-handle-on-right-6a41430e0845f.jpg?v=1782661951","url":"https:\/\/onlybobs.shop\/products\/no-one-told-me-about-the-fucking-bears-mug","provider":"Bobs Merch Store ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}