{"product_id":"unisex-classic-tee-3","title":"Pumpkin Jousting Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeasonal Combat. Agricultural Honour. Deeply Questionable Sport.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome T-shirts are inspired by athletic achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one is inspired by the moment someone looked at a pumpkin and thought:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThat could be part of a fight.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Pumpkin Jousting T-Shirt celebrates one of the more refined traditions to emerge from the wider Bobes Lore field research programme: a ceremonial sport involving pumpkins, sticks, witnesses, poor balance, and the sort of confidence usually seen shortly before someone needs a splint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo outsiders, Pumpkin Jousting may appear to be people messing about with seasonal vegetables.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is incorrect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a historic cultural practice, recognised by the LHS, performed in a properly questionable arena, and governed by rules that are definitely written down somewhere, probably on a damp note near Myshkino.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe contest is simple. Two battlers enter. Pumpkins are respected. Sticks are raised. Dignity leaves immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eVictory may be awarded through balance, bravery, intimidation, confusion, or the opponent falling over in a way that feels historically significant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn many ways, Pumpkin Jousting is Tuesday-adjacent. Not officially Tuesday. Not legally Tuesday. But absolutely close enough that the calendar should be informed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for Bellends who understand that some traditions are not invented.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey are discovered by accident, immediately escalated, and then defended as ancient law.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex T-shirt with a structured streetwear-style fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSits nicely and keeps sharp lines around the edges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreat for layering, loitering, spectating, or explaining why there is a pumpkin in the arena\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade from 100% cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSport Grey is 90% cotton and 10% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAsh Grey is 99% cotton and 1% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeather colours are 50% cotton and 50% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 5.0 to 5.3 oz\/yd², or 170 to 180 g\/m²\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOpen-end yarn\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTubular fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTaped neck and shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble seam at sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimers\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDue to fabric properties, the White colour variant may appear off-white rather than bright white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDark colour speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the colour Natural\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis T-shirt does not grant official Pumpkin Jousting authority\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny injuries sustained while shouting “it’s tradition” remain your own responsibility\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMade to Order\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take a little longer to arrive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaking products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision, even if the shirt itself is based on agricultural combat nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eLore Disclaimer\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePumpkin Jousting is a recognised cultural activity within Bobes Lore, but should not be attempted without witnesses, appropriate stupidity, and at least one person nearby who knows where the splints are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContext provided. Pumpkins not learned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bobs Bellends","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":58065289969999,"sku":"1723893_11546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":58065290002767,"sku":"1723893_11547","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":58065290035535,"sku":"1723893_11548","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":58065290068303,"sku":"1723893_11549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065290101071,"sku":"1723893_11550","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065290133839,"sku":"1723893_12644","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":58065290166607,"sku":"1723893_12645","price":31.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":58065290199375,"sku":"1723893_12646","price":34.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":58065290232143,"sku":"1723893_15843","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":58065290264911,"sku":"1723893_15844","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":58065290297679,"sku":"1723893_15845","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":58065290330447,"sku":"1723893_15846","price":24.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":58065290363215,"sku":"1723893_15847","price":26.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":58065290395983,"sku":"1723893_15848","price":29.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1017\/7852\/2447\/files\/unisex-classic-tee-black-front-and-back-6a5d16d877768.jpg?v=1784485603","url":"https:\/\/onlybobs.shop\/products\/unisex-classic-tee-3","provider":"Bobs Merch Store ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}