DONT BOB Women’s Softstyle Tee
DONT BOB Women’s Softstyle Tee
Size Chart
Please check the size guide before ordering.
Bob’s Lore accepts no responsibility for shirts that fit like a tent, cling like a bad decision, or restrict movement during Tuesday-related leg incidents.
Measure yourself, compare carefully, and remember: confidence is not a size.
If in doubt, size up. You can always look relaxed. You cannot always breathe.
.
See Sizing guidance
Features & Materials
Product Care
Return & Refund policy
Our goal is for every Bellend to be properly satisfied with their loot.
If your order arrives and something feels wrong, cursed, Tuesday’d, directionally optimistic, or clearly inspected by Bob in a field, let us know.
We’ll do our best to put it right, apply the necessary cultural maintenance, and avoid creating arrears with the Bank of Bellends.
Shipping
We’ll work quickly to get your loot packed, logged, and sent before Bob wanders off into a field with it.
Once your order has shipped, you’ll receive an email with further details, assuming the message survives Tuesday, navigation errors, and any unexpected shed-based delays.
Delivery times vary depending on your location, local conditions, and whether the route passes anywhere near Nadbor.
Survival Advice From Someone Who Has Watched Bob Do the Exact Opposite.
There are certain things every DayZ survivor should know.
Eat when you're hungry.
Drink when you're thirsty.
Find warmth when you're cold.
Deal with your injuries.
And try not to start unnecessary confrontations when your health is already dangerously low.
Simple advice.
Sensible advice.
The kind of advice that shouldn't really need repeating.
Unfortunately, somebody forgot to tell Bob.
Actually, that's not entirely accurate.
People have told Bob.
Repeatedly.
At considerable volume.
BOB HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THE INFORMATION.
He has not necessarily acted upon it.
Because there's a shed over there.
And it might contain something interesting.
THE SURVIVAL PHILOSOPHY OF BOB.
For most survivors, DayZ is a careful balancing act.
Find supplies.
Maintain your condition.
Avoid unnecessary risks.
And make sure you have enough food and water to reach your next destination.
Bob approaches things differently.
He has somewhere to go.
Something to investigate.
Somebody to speak to.
Possibly a distant gunshot that sounds suspiciously like an invitation.
And all of these things appear to take priority over the increasingly alarming little pictures at the bottom of the screen.
THE APPLE IS RED, BOB.
Yes, he knows.
THE WATER IS RED, BOB.
Yes, he'll sort that out.
YOU'RE BLEEDING, BOB.
Apparently, he's aware.
BOB, YOUR HEALTH!
Just a minute.
There's something in this building.
The Livonia Historical Society has reviewed this approach to survival.
Its conclusions are not encouraging.
Although the entertainment value is considerable.
THE FIVE SIGNS OF AN IMPENDING BOB.
Most DayZ players view their survival indicators as useful information.
Bob appears to view them as a collection of increasingly decorative suggestions.
The Society has therefore prepared a formal assessment of the five most recognisable warning signs.
THE BLUE THERMOMETER.
Bob is cold.
Perhaps he's been running through the rain.
Perhaps his clothes are wet.
Perhaps he has decided that standing in a field while discussing something with chat is more important than finding shelter.
Whatever the reason, his temperature is dropping.
A sensible survivor would consider building a fire.
Finding warmer clothing.
Or heading somewhere sheltered.
Bob has a different proposal.
"IT'S NOT FAR NOW."
Unfortunately, this statement has no known insulating properties.
THE RED APPLE.
Bob is hungry.
Very hungry.
The sort of hungry that suggests food should now be considered an urgent priority rather than a pleasant possibility.
Fortunately, DayZ provides several ways to obtain food.
Looting.
Fishing.
Hunting.
Foraging.
All reasonable activities.
Bob, however, has decided to continue his journey.
There might be food in the next town.
Or the one after that.
Or possibly in the shed he's just spotted.
Chat has recommended eating something.
Bob has agreed.
And then completely failed to do so.
FOOD PROCUREMENT STATUS: PENDING.
THE RED HYDRATION INDICATOR.
Water.
One of the fundamental requirements of continued existence.
Not a luxury.
Not an optional extra.
Not something that can be indefinitely postponed because there's an interesting building nearby.
DayZ contains wells.
Useful wells.
Wells that provide the opportunity to obtain drinking water and improve your survival prospects.
Unfortunately, Bob has developed a remarkable ability to remember that he needs water shortly after leaving somewhere that might have provided it.
Chat notices.
Chat suggests finding a well.
Bob agrees.
Then gets distracted.
THE WATER DEPARTMENT HAS FILED A COMPLAINT.
It remains unresolved.
THE RED BLOOD INDICATOR.
At some point, the adventure has become unnecessarily exciting.
Perhaps Bob encountered infected.
Perhaps he met another survivor.
Perhaps he found himself involved in one of those situations that began with confidence and ended with considerably less blood than expected.
Whatever happened, his condition is now concerning.
A sensible player would stop.
Assess their injuries.
Use appropriate medical supplies.
And perhaps avoid further trouble until they've recovered.
Bob has identified another suspicious noise.
THE MEDICAL REVIEW HAS BEEN POSTPONED.
Reason: Adventure.
THE RED HEALTH SYMBOL.
And finally, health.
The last little warning.
The one that suggests the situation has become critical.
At this point, Bob is cold.
Hungry.
Thirsty.
Injured.
And dangerously close to becoming another freshie.
Surely now he'll stop.
Find somewhere safe.
Recover.
Eat.
Drink.
Perhaps even listen to chat.
Unfortunately, he's just noticed somebody in the distance.
"I'M JUST GOING TO SAY HELLO."
The Livonia Historical Society would like to register its concern.
Unfortunately, Bob is already running.
THE COMMUNITY HAS HAD ENOUGH.
Watching Bob repeatedly ignore his basic survival requirements has taught the Bellends several important lessons.
Primarily that food, water, warmth, blood and health are all remarkably useful things to have.
But also that sometimes the finest educational material comes from observing somebody else make a spectacularly avoidable mistake.
Bob has become an extraordinary case study.
A living demonstration of why survival indicators exist.
At least until the health indicator reaches zero.
Then he's a freshie.
And the entire educational process begins again.
THE LESSONS CONTINUE.
The results remain remarkably consistent.
THE ELK PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
Eventually, the warning became so recognisable that it spread beyond Bob's own stream.
Over on Elk's stream, the command !dontbob became a way of reminding people to reconsider their more questionable decisions.
When triggered, StreamElements delivers the following advice:
"About to do something you'll regret? Before you do, remember to do what Bob doesn't!"
And there it is.
One command.
One very simple philosophy.
An entire public safety campaign inspired by somebody who apparently considers lunch an optional activity.
Because sometimes the best way to make a sensible decision is to ask yourself:
WHAT WOULD BOB FORGET?
Food?
Eat something.
Water?
Have a drink.
Warmth?
Find shelter.
Injuries?
Deal with them.
Dangerously low health?
Perhaps don't investigate the gunfire.
CONGRATULATIONS.
You have successfully avoided Bobbing.
The Society considers this an important achievement.
Particularly because it requires almost no specialist training.
Just a willingness to look at the little symbols and acknowledge that they might actually mean something.
THE FIVE-POINT SURVIVAL AUDIT.
Following extensive observation, the Livonia Historical Society recommends completing a basic survival audit before beginning any important journey.
1. TEMPERATURE.
Are you cold?
If yes, address the situation before it becomes a bigger problem.
2. FOOD.
Are you hungry?
If yes, eat.
The apple is not decorative.
3. HYDRATION.
Are you thirsty?
If yes, find water.
Preferably before passing the last well for several kilometres.
4. BLOOD.
Are you injured?
If yes, deal with it.
Do not postpone the matter because somebody has spotted an interesting building.
5. HEALTH.
Are you dangerously close to dying?
If yes, reconsider your immediate plans.
Especially if those plans involve running towards armed strangers.
Five simple checks.
Five opportunities to avoid an entirely unnecessary disaster.
Unfortunately, the Society has identified one significant problem with the procedure.
BOB HAS TO REMEMBER TO USE IT.
Further training may be required.
THE WEARABLE WARNING.
Which brings us to the design.
The front features the familiar DONT BOB message in bold white lettering.
Beneath it sit five DayZ-inspired survival indicators.
A blue thermometer.
A red apple.
A red hydration symbol.
A red blood indicator.
And a red health cross.
To an ordinary person, it might look like a gaming-inspired graphic.
A simple collection of little icons.
Nothing particularly alarming.
To a DayZ player, however, the meaning is immediately recognisable.
THIS PERSON IS IN SERIOUS TROUBLE.
To a Bellend, it's even more specific.
It's Bob.
Cold.
Starving.
Dehydrated.
Low on blood.
Low on health.
And still absolutely convinced that investigating the next suspicious noise is a wonderful idea.
The Society considers the design a remarkably accurate representation of the community warning.
It is simple.
Recognisable.
And potentially useful.
Although there is no evidence that wearing the message will actually cause Bob to follow it.
THE SOFTSTYLE SURVIVOR'S UNIFORM.
This women's softstyle T-shirt provides a comfortable everyday option for anyone who appreciates a little gaming-related nonsense.
The semi-fitted cut follows the body's natural lines without feeling tight, offering a flattering shape while remaining comfortable for everyday wear.
The lightweight, soft fabric makes it easy to wear on its own or layer beneath a jacket.
Ideal for gaming sessions.
Casual outings.
Watching Bob's stream.
Visiting the pub.
Or simply reminding yourself that eating before travelling several kilometres is generally a sensible idea.
Perfect for Bellends, DayZ enthusiasts, Elk's community and anyone who has ever watched somebody ignore several survival warnings while confidently insisting that everything is under control.
THE FINAL LHS ASSESSMENT.
The temperature is blue.
The apple is red.
The water is red.
The blood is red.
The health is red.
And Bob has just announced that he's going to have a look at something suspicious.
The Livonia Historical Society strongly advises against this course of action.
Chat agrees.
Elk has a command specifically addressing the problem.
Bob has acknowledged the warning.
He is still running.
DONT BOB.
Eat something.
Drink some water.
Stay warm.
Deal with your injuries.
And remember that the survival part of survival gaming is not supposed to be optional.
Do what Bob doesn't.
Product Details
This women's softstyle T-shirt features the familiar DONT BOB design, combining bold white lettering with five coloured DayZ-inspired survival indicators representing temperature, food, hydration, blood and health.
The design celebrates Bob's famously questionable approach to maintaining his character's basic needs and the wider community warning associated with Elk's !dontbob stream command.
The women's semi-fitted cut follows the body's natural lines without feeling tight, offering a comfortable and flattering shape for everyday wear.
Its soft, lightweight feel makes it ideal for casual outfits, gaming sessions, stream viewing and layering beneath a jacket.
Perfect for Bellends, DayZ enthusiasts, Elk's community, survival gaming fans and anyone who understands that checking your status indicators is generally preferable to becoming another avoidable historical incident.
Five warning signs. One message. Absolutely no survival guarantees.
Disclaimers
Wearing this T-shirt does not automatically improve your survival skills.
It does not provide food.
It does not provide drinking water.
It does not restore blood.
It does not regenerate health.
It does not prevent hypothermia.
And it certainly does not guarantee that Bob will remember to eat before beginning another entirely unnecessary adventure.
The printed survival indicators are decorative gaming-inspired artwork and do not monitor the wearer's actual physical condition.
The blue thermometer is not a functioning temperature sensor.
The red apple does not contain emergency calories.
The hydration indicator does not dispense drinking water.
The blood indicator is not a medical device.
And the health cross cannot determine whether you're about to make a spectacularly poor decision.
The phrase DONT BOB is a community joke and should not be interpreted as professional medical advice, survival training or a guarantee that copying Bob will always result in disaster.
This product does not include food, water, bandages, medical supplies, blood bags, saline, emergency survival equipment, guaranteed navigation or protection against unexpected Tuesdays.
The lightweight fabric provides comfort, not protection against severe weather, infected attacks or questionable survival decisions.
The manufacturer accepts no responsibility for ignored status indicators, preventable freshie deaths, unnecessary confrontations, missed meals or anybody shouting "DONT BOB" at complete strangers.
Due to fabric properties, a White colour variant, if offered, may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white.
Do not use this T-shirt as a substitute for appropriate protective clothing in hazardous conditions.
Do not attempt to treat the printed blood or health icons using actual medical supplies.
Do not assume that wearing the design qualifies you to provide survival training.
And do not ignore genuine hunger, dehydration, illness or injury simply because Bob occasionally appears to.
The indicators are decorative.
The warning is cultural.
The responsibility to remain alive is still yours.
Made to Order
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order.
Unlike Bob's survival preparation, which occasionally appears to begin only after several indicators have turned red, each T-shirt is manufactured on demand rather than produced in unnecessary quantities.
This may mean a little more production time, but it helps reduce overproduction, unwanted stock and warehouses filled with survival warnings that nobody has remembered to read.
Making products on demand rather than in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.
The Livonia Historical Society has reviewed the arrangement.
Your T-shirt will be manufactured.
The warning will be printed.
The five survival indicators will remain visible.
And Bob's next meal remains entirely his own responsibility.
Lore Classification
- 🩺 DONT BOB Survival Warning Apparel
- 🥶 Temperature Management Failure
- 🍎 Food Procurement Negligence
- 💧 Hydration Requirements Ignored
- 🩸 Blood Loss Observation Programme
- ❤️ Critical Health Decision-Making
- 📢 Elk's !dontbob Public Service Announcement
- 📜 Livonia Historical Society Survival Archive
- ⚠️ Basic Needs First. Questionable Adventures Later.
DONT BOB.
Five warnings.
One terrible example.
And an entire community that learned the importance of basic survival by watching somebody else repeatedly ignore it.
Do what Bob doesn't.
Context provided. Survival not guaranteed.
Verified by someone who was there, maybe.