Beating Cocks & Missing Shots Tee
Beating Cocks & Missing Shots Tee
Size chart
Please check the size guide before ordering.
Bob’s Lore accepts no responsibility for shirts that fit like a tent, cling like a bad decision, or restrict movement during Tuesday-related leg incidents.
Measure yourself, compare carefully, and remember: confidence is not a size.
If in doubt, size up. You can always look relaxed. You cannot always breathe.
See Sizing Guidance
Features & Materials
Product Care
Return & Refund policy
Our goal is for every Bellend to be properly satisfied with their loot.
If your order arrives and something feels wrong, cursed, Tuesday’d, directionally optimistic, or clearly inspected by Bob in a field, let us know.
We’ll do our best to put it right, apply the necessary cultural maintenance, and avoid creating arrears with the Bank of Bellends.
Shipping
We’ll work quickly to get your loot packed, logged, and sent before Bob wanders off into a field with it.
Once your order has shipped, you’ll receive an email with further details, assuming the message survives Tuesday, navigation errors, and any unexpected shed-based delays.
Delivery times vary depending on your location, local conditions, and whether the route passes anywhere near Nadbor.
Grey or Black Tee. Beat-Up Cockerel. Aim Still Questionable.
Some T-shirts make a bold statement.
This one makes a legally difficult poultry-based confession.
The Beating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt celebrates one of Bob’s finest accidental field reports, delivered after someone asked the very dangerous question:
“What you up to?”
Bob replied:
“Beating cocks and missing shots.”
And just like that, the LHS had to open another file.
This T-shirt features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character alongside the now culturally significant phrase, capturing Bob at his most Bob.
Armed.
Hungry.
Distracted.
Surrounded by better tools.
And still choosing to resolve a chicken situation with his bare hands.
Most survivors would see a chicken and use a knife.
Some might use an axe.
A few might use a gun.
Bob appears to consider all available survival methods before selecting the oldest and least efficient option:
Punching breakfast until morale improves.
The cockerel on this shirt has clearly been through something.
It may have survived the first hit.
It may have dodged several shots.
It may now be the reason a cock count exists.
Nobody can confirm.
Chat was laughing too hard to take proper notes.
The Beating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt is for anyone who understands that Bob missing a shot does not automatically mean failure.
Sometimes it is warning fire.
Sometimes it is ballistic optimism.
Sometimes it is advanced intimidation of nearby scenery.
And sometimes it is simply the opening act before Bob starts chasing a chicken around a village like the apocalypse has become personal.
Available in two officially questionable colours.
Missed Shot Black is for Bellends who prefer their poultry incidents dark, dramatic, and difficult to explain in public.
Cockerel Grey is for those who want a softer, village-after-the-incident look, ideal for standing near evidence and denying involvement.
If the chicken is still standing, the lore is not finished.
Product Details
The Beating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt features a cartoon beat-up cockerel character with the text Beating Cocks and Missing Shots, inspired by Bob’s ongoing reputation for missed shots, questionable survival choices, and bare-fisted chicken management.
This unisex classic tee has a structured fit that sits nicely, keeps sharp lines around the edges, and works well with layered streetwear outfits.
It is comfortable enough for everyday wear, strong enough for lore-based public explanation, and suitable for anyone who has ever watched Bob make a simple food situation worse.
The tee has a clean classic shape, taped neck and shoulders, and double seams at the sleeves and bottom hem, making it far more structurally reliable than Bob’s poultry combat strategy.
Available in Missed Shot Black and Cockerel Grey.
Colour Guide
- Missed Shot Black: For serious Bellends, dramatic chicken incidents, and pretending the bullet was meant for the scenery.
- Cockerel Grey: For softer denial, post-incident wandering, and standing near feathers while insisting everything is under control.
Disclaimers
Wearing this T-shirt does not improve aim.
Wearing this T-shirt does not improve judgement.
Wearing this T-shirt does not guarantee successful chicken preparation.
Wearing this T-shirt does not confirm that fists are an approved poultry harvesting tool.
The phrase Beating Cocks and Missing Shots is not a tactical doctrine, hunting guide, food safety recommendation, combat manual, or legal defence.
This product does not include ammunition, a knife, an axe, emergency feathers, spare dignity, poultry counselling, recoil control, or an explanation that will make the quote sound normal.
The manufacturer accepts no responsibility for missed shots, escaped chickens, damaged pride, confused viewers, bad phrasing, David laughing, Bob being certain, or chat immediately demanding a cock count.
Due to fabric properties, colour appearance may vary slightly.
Do not wear this shirt as evidence that you know what you are doing.
The cockerel disagrees.
Made to Order
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, because unlike Bob’s shots, we prefer things to be aimed at the correct destination.
That means it may take a little longer to arrive, but this helps avoid unwanted stock, unnecessary waste, and piles of shirts quietly wondering why Bob did not just use the knife.
Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision.
Even if the chicken told you to.
Lore Classification
- 🐓 Bob Poultry Incident Apparel
- 🔫 Missed Shot Evidence Wear
- 🥊 Bare-Fisted Chicken Management Tee
- 📊 Official Cock Count Support Shirt
- 🔔 Bellend Breakfast Combat Clothing
Beating Cocks and Missing Shots T-Shirt
Because Bob does not simply miss.
He creates warning fire for a chicken he then punches anyway.
Understand the Lore
Every design has a story. Watch the clip that inspired this piece of Bob's Lore, learn the origin of the joke, and join the community to become part of the next chapter. Whether you're here for Giggle Burgers, Tuesdays, or general bellend behaviour, there's probably context somewhere.