Pumpkin Jousting Tee
Pumpkin Jousting Tee
Size chart
Please check the size guide before ordering.
Bob’s Lore accepts no responsibility for shirts that fit like a tent, cling like a bad decision, or restrict movement during Tuesday-related leg incidents.
Measure yourself, compare carefully, and remember: confidence is not a size.
If in doubt, size up. You can always look relaxed. You cannot always breathe.
See Sizing Guidance
Features & Materials
Product Care
Return & Refund policy
Our goal is for every Bellend to be properly satisfied with their loot.
If your order arrives and something feels wrong, cursed, Tuesday’d, directionally optimistic, or clearly inspected by Bob in a field, let us know.
We’ll do our best to put it right, apply the necessary cultural maintenance, and avoid creating arrears with the Bank of Bellends.
Shipping
We’ll work quickly to get your loot packed, logged, and sent before Bob wanders off into a field with it.
Once your order has shipped, you’ll receive an email with further details, assuming the message survives Tuesday, navigation errors, and any unexpected shed-based delays.
Delivery times vary depending on your location, local conditions, and whether the route passes anywhere near Nadbor.
Seasonal Combat. Agricultural Honour. Deeply Questionable Sport.
Some T-shirts are inspired by athletic achievement.
This one is inspired by the moment someone looked at a pumpkin and thought:
That could be part of a fight.
The Pumpkin Jousting T-Shirt celebrates one of the more refined traditions to emerge from the wider Bobes Lore field research programme: a ceremonial sport involving pumpkins, sticks, witnesses, poor balance, and the sort of confidence usually seen shortly before someone needs a splint.
To outsiders, Pumpkin Jousting may appear to be people messing about with seasonal vegetables.
This is incorrect.
It is a historic cultural practice, recognised by the LHS, performed in a properly questionable arena, and governed by rules that are definitely written down somewhere, probably on a damp note near Myshkino.
The contest is simple. Two battlers enter. Pumpkins are respected. Sticks are raised. Dignity leaves immediately.
Victory may be awarded through balance, bravery, intimidation, confusion, or the opponent falling over in a way that feels historically significant.
In many ways, Pumpkin Jousting is Tuesday-adjacent. Not officially Tuesday. Not legally Tuesday. But absolutely close enough that the calendar should be informed.
This shirt is for Bellends who understand that some traditions are not invented.
They are discovered by accident, immediately escalated, and then defended as ancient law.
Product Details
- Classic unisex T-shirt with a structured streetwear-style fit
- Sits nicely and keeps sharp lines around the edges
- Great for layering, loitering, spectating, or explaining why there is a pumpkin in the arena
- Made from 100% cotton
- Sport Grey is 90% cotton and 10% polyester
- Ash Grey is 99% cotton and 1% polyester
- Heather colours are 50% cotton and 50% polyester
- Fabric weight: 5.0 to 5.3 oz/yd², or 170 to 180 g/m²
- Open-end yarn
- Tubular fabric
- Taped neck and shoulders
- Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
Disclaimers
- Due to fabric properties, the White colour variant may appear off-white rather than bright white
- Dark colour speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the colour Natural
- This T-shirt does not grant official Pumpkin Jousting authority
- Any injuries sustained while shouting “it’s tradition” remain your own responsibility
Made to Order
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it may take a little longer to arrive.
Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision, even if the shirt itself is based on agricultural combat nonsense.
Lore Disclaimer
Pumpkin Jousting is a recognised cultural activity within Bobes Lore, but should not be attempted without witnesses, appropriate stupidity, and at least one person nearby who knows where the splints are.
Context provided. Pumpkins not learned.
Understand the Lore
Every design has a story. Watch the clip that inspired this piece of Bob's Lore, learn the origin of the joke, and join the community to become part of the next chapter. Whether you're here for Giggle Burgers, Tuesdays, or general bellend behaviour, there's probably context somewhere.